Moderato Vita Dolce

Still to move.

2012-02-06T04:48:00.001+08:00

Back here again after a long time, seems I don't like to blog anymore. When I getting down, blogging still the way I relieve myself so I could move on. Being grateful I'm still have a blog space with me now.

A new challenging year to me, everything must be getting ready before I enter the battlefield after I graduated from college at the begin of next year. Knowledges, skills, what makes a burden on both of my shoulders recently. The path just getting more tougher than before. I start to found myself weak and afraid. So, THIS SHOULDN'T HAPPEN okay? Its just the begin of the year, why I am being so dumb fuck already? Come on, get up and do it. Everything going to be okay if I get along with my desire.

Next one, I start to feel lonely by the way, anyone deserved to give love? Hah. this seems a big business to me in reason of I have not much money to spend with my couple. It wouldn't be a problem for treating meal and drink but...how about any luxury gift or activities? I am not stingy nor else but... I just wish to get a nice girl and give her my heart and she did it too, thats all.
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The straying spirit

2011-10-24T02:44:00.003+08:00

Trying so hard to get myself back, but unfortunate ,it doesn't. I still just way dispirited, like no hope for tomorrow, I know what's the consequences if I still keep it this way. This is not the common responsibility that I could afford. Well, I might too much desire for those impossible stuff and cause I'm so self-blamed yet, I lose my strength. I think stay myself away from anyone is the way to get rehab. But,it didn't and goes more worst. Lone makes too much negative thinking to me, like now. Everyone said, hope is in tomorrow, but I denied with; hope, the virtual, effort, the tomorrow. If I still being this way, better don't hope about tomorrow. What to do? Pray.

2011-10-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

Finally decided to give my blog layout a change, the style is about simply the better. Trying to spend more time to be here. Perhaps could practise my English writing here? Anyway, more to come soon! :)

Some deeds

2011-10-21T02:06:00.002+08:00

Well, my life didn't goes what I am expecting, besides the financial and relationship problem, now added my assignments for every subject I take in college, lecturer is so damn cruel just leave we all survive ourselves, worked so hard, but everything seems remain the same yet. Some works submitted but comeback with freaking less mark, I don't care about it, as long as I complete and submit it on time, that's all.

Friends come and go, I don't feel to stay anyone. Everyone has different thoughts, me too. When there's the junction you choose to turn to the other side, go ahead and we make a farewell here. Good bye, our best memory I wouldn't lose it anywhere, maybe we could get along again if we have to same thinking already?

Feel like want to hug my parents ,I begin to lose my strength, the battlefield is the way getting more and more difficult , everytime I recall back my childhood memories with my parents, it does really push my tears out from my eyes. Not only that, my spirits seems leaved away from my body, I not the energetic person anymore, I have no certain personality . I follow the attitude of other people surrounded me, am I going to live my life this way ? Please come back my spirit, I need you seriously.

Some adults likes to crack much joke but can't even stand for a joke towards himself, I am so curious about this kind of people, you are a lecturer okay, for sure I am respecting you all the time but you like to make joke as sarcasm to a student, what to deal with this one? Yet, my words didn't include any disrespect meaning to you ,I just unfavorite with my circumstance, you can take that as I am talking to myself. By the way, if you tell other you're teaching me how to get along with different type of people in society, why don't you learn how to regard common joke as a pure joke?

活在當下

2011-09-25T02:53:00.000+08:00

回來走走看看，把一些重要的事蹟記載在這裡，這些是我在這裡寫部落的目的，生活都還好，也是那幾樣事情在輪流發生，在沉悶中找快樂，都是我一直維持不變的規劃。

這天真的到了，我被推薦了在佛學常理班學習分享道理，也很開心第一次就被各位前賢讚好，都是我以前有給演講的經驗，所以會把場面控制得穩定，接下來的星期六將會是我第三次帶唱聖歌和分享，希望能做的更好。

生活中過的一日一夜，其實帶給了我非常多的領悟和體會，很多事，我不想再去計較，去執著，過去是怎麼的不快樂，難過，就讓它離開了吧，過去是怎麼憤怒，埋怨，就讓它成為一個回憶吧。接下來的，要以更高的內涵來接受，看待。要在混亂中找回自己，很不容易，但找不回來，也就是要繼續迷在慾海之中，今天我的智慧在這，我要學習把它抓緊，不讓它再被無明奪走，我只靠我的智慧才能生存下來，只要我智慧一離開我，我可以說我就是另外一個人了。

可能我有一天會變，可能還是一樣，也有可能變得更積極，who knows? 如今還是窮書生一名，希望畢業的那一天來的快一些，讓我可以正真去面對人生挑戰。有空會再寫，BYE～

錢 =/= 生活...

2011-08-25T21:37:00.001+08:00

回來打掃了！
最近算是很忙，學業越來越艱難，一開學就被壓力困擾了，幸好我即使拋開一些懶散的習慣，好讓可以應付這些更深一塵的功課，希望能把這些日子撐過去，向畢業的那一天邁進。

現在的生活還好而已，家庭的經濟每況愈下，爸爸年紀大了，身體不是很爭氣，加上經濟不好，生意越做越小，投資也不能賺錢，現在家庭不再是小康之家了吧，零用錢還得分成半個月才給了。幸好平時有做節儉的打算，好讓自己能適應一直要省錢的生活。本來想要求父母為我買一輛車，但是後來覺得還是算了吧。

其實之前一直為了錢而搞得自己悶悶不樂，但是上了其中一堂的佛教常理班後，才知道把錢的慾念放在生活裡，只會讓自己更辛苦的過日子。這不是叫人家放棄賺錢的鬥志，而是人要是知道滿足，就已經達到快樂人生了，現在，錢在我生活裡不是一個必須品，而只是一個能讓我買我興趣的物品而努力換回來的東西。人的命運不一致，很多東西我們不能強求，別人駕名車，用iPhone，買名牌等，我們就得要學會不去妒忌別人的命運，這才能讓自己生活過得安樂。

有些朋友會說，吃不到葡萄就說葡萄酸，這句話我非常不同意把它形容在這方面，如果你不相信，就去因為自己的不幸而掙扎吧，看看我活得快樂還是你快樂？還有請看看那些殘肢的朋友，他們有因為自己少別人一直手或一隻腳而卻埋怨自己嗎？不，他們卻創造出他們自己生活的定義，他們比我們這些四肢健全人活得更快樂，滿足。

雖然想通了很多，但是我偶爾還會去妒忌別人，不過，我把這小小的妒忌轉換成發奮圖強的力量，好讓自己不會因為困難而退縮，就已經很足夠了。妒忌心小，就是正面的力量，妒忌心太大，就會變成傷害自己的心魔，心魔的恐怖，會把自己的良心吞沒，為達到目的，不折手段，出賣親情友情，罔顧他人感受等。我還不是很了解如何知足常樂這東西，想了解的朋友可以看看佛書，向聖人請教吧。但是如果有幸能向別人詳細的分享我也非常樂意！

我知道可能一些朋友會有對說明的不認同，我也不能做些什麼，人各有志，我覺得我以這方法得到快樂滿足，就已經夠了...

黃色的淨選盟

2011-07-11T22:51:00.000+08:00

記得前幾年，爸爸告訴我關於選舉和政府的不是，我很無奈的回答：“政治怎麼樣都不關我的事。”現在，可以說踏了半步進社會，當把自己的錢付給油站時，才真正明白，為什麼會有反對黨，一包兩塊三的糖，幾十仙漲價對我來說不是問題，但是對一間咖啡館來說，是一個困難了，貪污的新聞一宗又一宗，人民的錢，卻被別人拿來享受？能嗎？到底我們的錢，他們是怎麼樣利用？國家看不到發展，人民仍然活在水深火熱當中，看得過去嗎？小弟活了快二十年，從來只想過到外國發展事業回饋國家，但一點都沒想過要離開馬來西亞到外國紮根，而且還希望國家能不停進步。但我看到的只是，毫無不變制度/系統，卻把稅越張越高，人民的錢現在在哪裡？

看到709的淨選盟遊行，小弟的第一印象的不是感到我國丟臉，而是為我們終於可以不分種族，老幼富貧，甚至在世界各地都站了出來證明我們要團結讓這些狗政府好看的行為感到驕傲！如果小弟不是因為假期回了家鄉，肯定會上前去給個支持。有些人諷刺：“票都還沒有資格投，學什麼人管政治？”，小弟這裡問那些抱著這些想法的朋友：“現在那些稅都不是你在付，是你爸爸媽媽在承擔，可能你家有錢，這些錢跟本你就看不上，對嗎？”如果是的話，小弟也在這裡祝你們好運，風水始終會輪流轉的吧。小弟在這些事湊上一腳，就是不希望我以後在路邊吃一包椰漿飯要五塊錢，還要多付什麼什麼tax.我沒有意思要在這說服各位不認同的朋友，小弟只是在為自己着想，謝謝...

句號不是結束，只是一段事情的停頓...

2011-07-06T02:18:00.002+08:00

以前說畫上句號，以為一切成了過去，其實句號後，又開始了新一段事情，我還是以那副死人德性面對, 人家給了很多次答案，我幹嘛還不確定？得摔一跤才知痛，大家別擔心，我慣了,這算是什麼啊？說感情，真的，我認輸了，我一點也不會，我只擁有一個很普通男生的關心，我沒有那麼膽大，我沒有花言巧語，我什麼都見識過，就是這行永遠都學不會，我這次真的累了，讓人家自動來教我更好，你們說我不像話，我也無能為力，我慣了一個人行走，如有機會牽著她的手一起走，我一定會珍惜，沒機會，就算了吧。哈哈，這幾天的EMO，也讓這個沉悶的假期，添上了一些小色彩，不然就是zzz了。

最近愛上唱歌，發現唱歌真的能完全紓解一個人的情緒，而且還會很開心的那種！所以現在經常也在練高音，假音，震音。哈哈，除了煮菜ELSON，運動ELSON，愛演ELSON，暴躁ELSON，斯文ELSON，好色ELSON，哈韓ELSON，跳舞ELSON，粗魯ELSON，跳舞ELSON，老闆ELSON，懶惰ELSON，健身ELSON，模特ELSON之外....就快來了一個新的唱歌ELSON...哈哈哈...

p/s- 我是不是還在騙自己？

決定試試走進這入口-Decided to try enter the entrance

2011-06-19T03:02:00.001+08:00

來到了SEM2的最後一個星期，功課都還未完成，攝影課的功課只剩兩天期限，跟本就不懂我到底完成了沒，有的人說這有人說那，一頭霧水，不管了，只求B+就足夠咯, 至於還有五天的電腦設計軟件課的功課，大概大概的只弄了一堆不知道能不能被接受的東西，算了，下星期真的是要找人幫幫忙了，過了下星期，就是我第二學期的放假了。

以下內容會用中英文寫*

今天，代表了學校參加了由Dulux舉辦的2011 Dulux Emerging Talent Awards (DETA) ，在於KBU Damansara，我們這一行大概只有二十人，但報名卻超過四十人。學長們只有幾個參加，我們這些不新不舊的較多。廢話不多說，這次有六百多人參加的設計比賽，我們學校就連二十五強也沒一個人殺入，我不期待贏那五強去台灣十日旅的機會，只想幫學校挽回一些面子，還是沒了，畢竟上一屆我們學長贏過到中國觀光的位置。唉，算了吧。經過這次比賽，非常出乎我意料的說，對手們都實在太強了，而且讓我輸得沒藉口來掩蓋。也讓我深深的明白到，以後我所遇到對手的不只是今天的六百多個學生，也讓我自燈籠設計比賽後再次體會到經驗對一個設計師的重要性。

現在我的心情非常平靜，我決定了一件考慮了兩個月的事，我只向幾個朋友提過，這是我曾經的夢想，就因為一個人給了我電話號碼而把它重新點燃，我時時刻刻都有在考慮這件事，是因為缺乏信心嗎？還是已經知道那還只是個夢？我自己也不清楚，知道的朋友也支持我去試一試，但是我就是臉皮不夠厚，一直擔心如果被單位取笑的話的場面會是怎麼樣。現在，我決定給我自己一個機會，去看一看這扇門是否歡迎我，如果是夢而已，我就該清醒過來，如果是奇蹟，我就要努力往裡面前進。我不希望每個人都給我信心，只希望我相信的朋友，你們是否也和我一樣？

******************************************************************

I've represented my college for taking part in Dulux Emerging Talent Awards 2011, organised by Dulux, in KBU Damansara today. Well, we had more than 40 person registered but there only about 20 people really attended. Majority participants from my college were only around my batch, and a few of senior students. Without too much crapping, there were more than 600 participant from different college, but how sad we don't have even a PJCAD student got the place for top 25's. I don't actually hope to win the top 5's places for the Taipei designer workshop and trip, but looking for chances to help salvage my college's fame, with reason of we've senior who has won the prizes for trip to China for Expo event last year. Sigh...by the way, this event really out of my expectation , there were so much of strong competitors and made me did not find a excuse for my losing absolutely. Plus, I've understood that not only 600+ person will be my competitors in future, and how important of experiences is need for a designer since my lantern competition last year.

Well, I am very calm now. I finally came out a decision which already taken 2 months for consideration. I only telling this to some of my friends. This was my previous dream, but it has emerged infront me again since a guy gave me his phone number. I am always doing the consideration but am not sure whether I'm lack of confidence or it just a dream. Everyone who knew has giving me support but I am still hesitate about it . I am worry how if they laugh at my clueless? So now, I decided to give myself a try to enter this field. If there is a miracle, I swear I'll keep going on it but if no, I should wake up and carry on my current things. I don't wish everyone stand beside me but for those my trusted friends, do you think the same as mine?

我沒欠你

2011-06-12T04:57:00.000+08:00

我真的很想對你罵粗口！不要一直扮到自己很可憐這樣！你本來不孤獨，是你自己一手把友誼送走！別忘記以前我是怎麼樣輔助你，半夜特地載你出去開導你，那些是什麼？我太八婆嗎？現在有了新歡，變了樣，天天騙話連篇，課不上，書不讀，跟女友吵架就拿朋友來出氣！別以為你發脾氣的話說了出來就可以不算數，現在沒一個人爽你，別說我出賣你！你沒去上課，你自己的功課是你自己負責！我自己也有事要忙，怎樣能慢慢從頭到尾教你？我開着FACEBOOK並不代表我一直就坐在電腦前等你問我問題！去你的！不要以為跟我說當我是BRO就代表我要為你赴湯蹈火！我沒有欠你！現在我越看你越骯髒，很反感！不止我，還有其他人。欠我的那筆錢請你快快還完給我！不要跟我耍花樣我告訴你！我寫這篇東西就是要讓別人看一看到底是誰錯！還寫華語就是因為怕你看不懂太深的英文，那麼不長進，就得要讓人家看死你！

挑戰自己

2011-06-11T03:57:00.002+08:00

本來今天是我們呈現室內設計Final project 的日子，只見每個人拼了老命準備的當兒，老師突然告訴我們說，我們正式呈現的日子已被管理層推到下個禮拜二，這時愁眉苦臉的每個人是滿分喜悅的！有的唱歌，有的馬上打電話告知那些還沒來的朋友等。這是值得慶祝的，但是我不知原因卻有些不滿，已把一切在之前準備妥當，但卻告訴我要延遲四天，那麼不是很有不公嗎？但為了挑戰自己，所以就上前告訴老師我要求我與一位因為下星期要到國外旅行的朋友在今天進行呈現，老師答應了，也帶來了另一位老師來評分,就這樣，我呈現了我的project。老師給了分，但對那模型因為虎頭蛇尾的功尚有不滿，並要求我把模型弄得最完美，然後在下星期二呈上。真的是出乎我意料! 我盡然可以明白自己錯在哪個地方卻還有改過的機會！我得弄個讓老師點頭的東西出來，向我要拿A的目標前進！

過後，在這次的project中，知道自己被一些能力好的當了對手，也被某個能力差的朋友說自私，有對手是好事，只要大家公平競爭，互相學習學習我都歡迎，至於你，平時上課就一直玩，不然就缺課，到了要呈交功課大家都忙碌的時侯才來要求人家教你怎樣做，甚至還要教你“開頭”怎麼做。我這裡告訴你，是你自己一直要走向死路但卻埋怨朋友見死不救！這種朋友我不介意少一個，我的雙手和精神就算借給那些能力差但有上進心的同學都不會借你，謝謝！

請你告訴我...

2011-06-04T04:49:00.000+08:00

我沒什麼，最近發現了原來自己就是極多缺點，卻把它說成是優點，如果你認識我，請你告訴我我是不是...

- 懶惰去做一件事，卻用Work smart來做藉口掩蓋自己的懶散？
- 沒能力，卻常常說自己不在行那樣東西？
- 遇到能力較差的人，就故意把自己的知識當道理講解給他聽，顯得自己有才華?
- 看不過有錢人花錢，就批評他們不會想？
- 沒錢買，卻說自己沒興趣？
- 常常扮大方忍讓，其實滿肚子火？
- 已經不想接受人家的意見，卻還扮著一副聽取的死人臉？
- 常常把“分析一項東西”的方法來當作自己很專業這樣？
- 像現在這樣，還要“Pattern"多多,卻大便一坨？
- 一兩次經驗，卻把它講到十年經驗？
- 不帥，卻愛說自己不愛打扮？
- 肥，卻不認命?

突然來了這些迷惑，我也開始在懷疑自己的人格，可能這些就是我想的太負面了，還是我本來就是這種人，還要解釋多多？認識我的朋友請你們告訴我你對我的看法？是好？是壞？鄭重請你們認真的告訴我...

談設計

2011-05-19T05:01:00.001+08:00

念了設計快一年，沒什麼的，還是處於努力奮鬥的狀況中，同學們的關係都可以說日久見人心了，有的好，有的一半一半，有的令我反感...還是希望撐到畢業的那天，不管過程是苦或酸，遇過怎樣的人，父母親年紀不輕，也有時常的毛病，弟弟卻還不知醒，我天天盼著這段時間快快過，快快走進社會，讓父母退休了。所謂，埋怨是一天，不埋怨也是一天，事實就是不能改變，只有努力做到最好。

今天做個分享，關於我現在正攻讀的專科，設計系。
大家，都知道什麼是設計吧！設計系有分為很多科系，有建築設計，平面設計，工業設計是三大主科系，建築的話可能會分成幾項分科如室外設計和室內設計（又分為室內建築，家具設計，活動場地設計，商業店面設計等），平面就可能分為：多媒體設計（又被分為網頁設計，媒體效果設計，電玩設計等），廣告設計，包裝設計等，工業的話大多數為產品設計，家具設計，電子產品設計等。現在還有新的科系，時裝設計系（服裝設計，手飾設計等）---這些不是我的根據，如有什麼問題不要屌我啊。

有些人認為，不只是我，讀設計，簡單如吃飯！現在，我可以清清楚楚的告訴你，一點也不，如果說讀設計以外的科系是努力佔六成，讀書天分佔四成，那麼設計就是一半藝術天分，一半努力，很多讀書的能者認為，他讀書能力強，進設計裡，一定可以畢業。不錯，的確可以畢業，但以後競爭的時候，肯定看到差異（除非你兩者俱全）。不過，設計也不是給不會讀書的人讀的，而是有藝術細胞，但是又肯努力的人。如果你本身不怎麼能讀書，不過在裡面懶懶散散，勸你努力激發或建立你的天分，不然你在裡面或很幸運的畢業出來時也不會有好日子過。

此外，在設計學校裡，老師只能為你在幾年的時間幫你指點迷津，不能把你變成神，累計經驗是一個設計師最重要的輔助，就算是三分天分都勝不過一分經驗，老師們都尊重每個學生的風格，就算是你的設計爛，老師多數都只注重整齊，清潔，合理的地方。最後真正批該我們作品的人就是我們以後的顧客。

我本身給我自己的分數最最最最多，都是三分天分，和四分努力而已，加起來就只有七，等於一個設計學生最低要達到的水準而已。最後，希望一些老輩們，能放開思想，其實設計不是在學畫畫，而是一門大學問，身邊一些天天遊手好閒，但是一直哀嘆自己就快要fail掉的同學，做一些努力吧，別再糊塗下去了，就算有金錢，但是有多少時間讓你重讀又重讀呢？

p/s:資料是從與老師們談天的時候所得，絕非我自己編制。

BLOG什麼？

2011-05-06T04:53:00.000+08:00

最近"順風耳"聽到某人在談部落，也聽到有人認為男生寫生活部落很娘，不是就說人家天天在部落寫一些所謂的道理。心裡沒想過要插進他們的話題，反正我知道我在做些什麼就可以了。
我寫生活部落有很多原因，首先：
-最基本的，不只練習寫英文，還能練習寫中文，畢竟現在我的生活太少接近華語書寫了。
-我認為寫BLOG不一定要100%寫英文就會CLASS一點（給會華語的人），部落能不能看只有看內容。
-我不期望我部落有很多人跟進，一切只供有緣人而已。
-我寫的“道理”，不一定就是你的道理，所謂人各有志，如果你不認同，也就不要逼人家接受你自己所謂的道理。（不等於給意見）
-我是一個善忘的人，通過部落我可以記載一些值得紀念的生活細節。
-我喜歡“溫故而知新”，通過部落，我能徹底的參考我以前的態度/作風來反省自己。
-如果有緣人們經過，對你給了一些好的建議，可能會改變你的一些不對看法。

我不會在乎別人如何看待，畢竟好過一些連自己的生活都不會做分析的人，還要批評人家大男人寫生活部落很娘，雖然你們的矛頭不是指我。我也沒指是哪個，就算你進來看到了也不要對號入座。加油！ :D

找一種“味”...

2011-04-27T00:31:00.001+08:00

不知不覺已踏出UTAR已有一年出，也與金寶生活道別了一年，但現在的生活往往都比不上當年。這次，金寶朋友們舉辦一場Yumcha gang燒烤打邊爐聚會，很湊巧的撞上了我能鬆口氣的時侯，為了散散心和會一會舊同學，於是決定了下金寶走一趟，進入金寶新街場的當兒，一陣陣在金寶與同屋或同學的回憶都乏起。騎著腳踏車到處溜，夜晚出去喝茶吃宵夜，網咖打機，駕著車到處逛逛哪裡有好吃的等。都是以前在我身上的慣常活動...

话不多说，这次真的让我找到一种在这里根本嗅不到的人情味，谢谢各位不嫌我麻烦，还有没忘记我...哈哈哈...有机会再聚！

小事蹟...

2011-04-07T01:25:00.000+08:00

我回來"掃墓"了xD,
最近沒什麼，放著小暑假，
生活過得如此平凡，在家吃，喝，睡，按電腦，看電視，
一眨眼三個星期的假期就要結束了，
一大堆的功課根本就沒動到，
算了，回到戰場再打算吧，
人總是要放開自己，到處走走看看，學學新東西，
好過為眼前一些的東西死拼，哭哭啼啼，大呼小叫的，
看到同學都在埋怨功課做不完，死死聲，
但我卻一點也沒同感，
我對於自己的功課不怎麼有信心能如期呈上，
不過我卻相信，老師是依照我們的能力來給功課，
不可能特地為難我們的吧！
而且覺得如果好勝心越強，往往逼自己做出一些好料，
不就只有把自己給逼瘋掉嗎？
小弟就以“隨性”這兩個字來看待這些功課吧！
一起加油！:)
祝大家清明快樂！

When is your beautiful night?

2011-03-12T03:05:00.000+08:00

Is a drizzle night now,
My mood is absolutely peace with the comfortable weather,
But in the other side we knew there is much people maybe in crying, worrying, suffering, for their life and siblings because of disaster .There is a tragedy in a quite successful technology country-Japan which been hit by earthquake and tsunami.A lot of citizen there were sacrificed in that.I felt sorry I couldn't do anything for them and just give them a deep pray for their miserable.
A hot topic beginning to argue among the netizen which about the world is going to end.Some say it would be but some are not agree with it.As I know from Buddhism's studies, god always loves humans,he still forgive our fault if we really repent what we were mistaken before the days.So humans, lets do some action to make god forgiving us as well.
Yeah now lets talk somethings different. No people wants to get poor in the "Money dominations'"generation today.Everyone had their own dreams and goals. All doing their best to achieving that. Same to me, I still doing my best to score my target. Sure I have much of target to score in my life. Well, I work hard on my studies or whatever college stuff and bla bla....but after heard stories, my head was like got a bash, I was totally awaking to somethings.I start to found out: I am already 20th this year; my parent are getting old and old; I am the eldest in my family. My study life still have a minimum 2 years to go, my parent still have to fight for more few years to cover my living expenses here, next, don't forget I have loaned my studies fees from PTPTN.
After I graduated from college, I am already 22 years old, so as usual I have to start everything up from 0.Maybe I work as a freshmen designer or what in a company,pay my study loan by salaries, could only able to cover up my living expenses.
I asked myself how many years I going to do that until my loans to be paid? Then only I could save an amount of money for my future family and asset?And I going to pay these liabilities next?My parent could not able to work one day ans so, is my turn to feed them back.This is really suffering, when is only my beautiful night?
Yea, I like the word "Chance", good chance could change your future.But are we gonna to await a good chance coming to us? Good stuff always come with a ugly cover.Sometime you might missed your great chance but actually you do not know.So, I'm going to explore everything which could approach me faster way to success.As we all say,using shortcut way always faster than using a original way.Don't just follows other rules due to everyone has different background and luck. Today if an opportunity in front of you, then don't be hesitate and just grab it and dash towards your dream!

做好人很累...

2011-03-03T03:31:00.000+08:00

又是一個深夜，未有睡意的我，還在電腦前聽著歌，寫部落，天空打了幾聲雷響後，滴答滴答的雨變下了起來，可能老天同情我，把天氣弄涼，讓我好好的睡一覺，昨晚與同學們去了喝酒，一個還喝到醉倒了。細節不多講，我們還是談了很多事情，彼此也更了解了。

其實最近脾氣都不是很好，功課又多又複雜的原因吧，上個禮拜的還沒完成這禮拜又有新的來了，而且還越來越難呢，搞到整個人都變成墮落樣，憔悴了不少。也領教到念設計系的壓力，而且不比以前在拉曼來得愻。總之，怎樣都好，一定保持聲心平靜，方能把功課做好。 :)

我，承認我自己是個講義氣的人，只要今天我把他當是好朋友，有什麼困難我都會盡量幫，就算是犧牲了一些時間或一點的金錢。不過，從等下天亮起，我不會再是個這樣的人，以後我爽我就幫，不爽就... 好人，不是想像中的那麼容易做，看見人家走錯路，好心去幫去勸，到後來發現人家根本就只在浪費你放在他身上的時間。而且不止一次。勸了又勸，同樣的話講了有講，人家把你好心的話聽到哪裡去了？就連自己的親弟弟也是這樣。我很累了，有很多功課需要我關注，沒多餘的時間和力氣去幫別人解決問題了，更加沒有權利逼一個人聽我說的去做，可能有一天他們跌倒後才會有一番領悟。祝福他們吧。

夜半的"靜"。。。

2011-02-19T03:47:00.000+08:00

秒針數到十二，又是一個凌晨三點鐘，窗外漆黑寂靜的馬路，與一些昆蟲的鳴叫聲。我被一杯凍咖啡提了神，把沉重疲憊的身軀暫時成了起來。

眨眼間就過去的新年，似乎沒帶給我一些特別的快樂，令我大抱遺憾，不過能平平安安的度過新年，也已令我深深感恩。這天的夜晚，我顯得困悶無比。心情就如被放出籠子的鳥，飛出竟不歸了。堆積如山的功課依然等待著我逐件去完成。我唯有大嘆一聲，心裡頓時泛起說不出的悶，導致整身都不舒服。

除此以外，我也紛紛感覺到我的人生過得越來越簡單，上課，吃，睡，健身就得以解釋我的一天，有時也得犧牲睡覺的時間來完成功課，我暫時的人生只有這樣過

情人節，不關我的事，看到個個在喊單身，也有忍不住要搞上一份，嘻，既然桃花未到，也不想刻意去找，就繼續等吧，白雪公主終有一天會出現。

最後，只能說正在為我的生活繼續努力，各位也得加油，得空就約我出來喝喝茶...

p/s: 正在尋找生意夥伴，有意請聯絡017-5849140 (elson).

How much I have?

2011-01-30T04:12:00.000+08:00

Already a late night, I can't fall asleep although was really felt sleepy.
Suddenly doubting for my capability, and I asked myself,
Am I just a shit? or still awaiting an opportunity?
If shit, then am I pretending everything goes well?
Arh!! x_X
Whatever LAH!!!
At least I being treasure what I owned today.
I SATISFIED what I've done...and this just too great!
So no envious to how the others doing their life.
Everyone is a designer of life.
Perhaps others might be envying my good life?
:-)

Early wish to everyones who visiting here Happy Chinese New Year!
Good Luck and aplenty of money and prosperity!

p/s:Always remember:Be patient to keep your best today for tomorrow, god will award a day for you to shout out your victories towards the world

10'年。回顧

2010-12-31T01:57:00.000+08:00

上一篇應該是10年最後一篇，但是悶過度，然後又有感而發，所以來了這裡。

今天來回顧一下我在2010年做了什麼特別的事。

--紋身，等於娶了一個老婆，我會欣賞它一輩子，別再問我是否會感後悔。希望一些思想保守的朋友將它視為一種藝術 :)

--下了決定，決定放棄並離開UTAR，一切到了盡頭，是時侯轉彎另找其路，拉曼生活做了總結，我會記得在裡邊所學，懂，做，聽，看，的一切。各位在拉曼認識的朋友要保重！

--人生再次陷入嚴重迷濛狀態，思想非常凌亂，也把自己看扁得如地上的石頭，不知所為，差點要到雲頂去做工，後來一位老朋友的聯絡更令我把人生目標投到空少上，報了名，也差不多要交學費...

--見了爸爸的一個同學，非常理解年輕人思想的他給了我很多鼓勵，也支持我向我從小就感興趣的設計系發展，也改變了我爸對設計系的看法，把我從谷底拉了上來。

--終於，我在我從中四就想讀的PJCAD報了名，加上該校因有非常卓越的發展而被INTI收購，即將改名為INTI設計學院，因此爸也對該校有更深的肯定。

--在PJCAD的日子有好有壞，但感覺總不比UTAR來的好。

--在PJCAD呆了一個學期，成績最近出爐了，給了我一個小教訓，就是考試TIPS親自上門問老師比較穩。不然的話別怪任何人沒告知。

兜兜轉轉，過了一年，時間是快，但是我希望它可以更快，2010年也算是我人生獲益不少的一年，希望接下來2011年會更好。新年快樂！

命運的感概。

2010-12-27T00:50:00.000+08:00

今次試下用粵語嚟寫呢篇BLOG，如有乜嘢字出錯該嘅話希望大家唔好見怪，多謝！

-最近我過得唔錯，喺屋企過得幾好，等成績等到頸都長埋啦，但係又擔心考到唔好，大爆冷。對於成績，我應該一隻眼開一隻眼閉，唔駛太過於執著。HAISSSSS。

-呢排發覺世界非常之混亂，世界即將末日？如果係嘅話我又如何是好？HAISSSS

-我至細就有三個我人生中想達到嘅夢想，一，想成為一個出色嘅設計師，二，要賺好多嘅錢，三，（我選擇佐唔話畀任何人知，但系我都仲會揾機會去達成佢，如果你係我中學時好接近我嘅朋友，你應該會知呱）HAISSSSS。

-夜晚總會帶畀人寂寞，我都不例外，誰人能傾聽我心事？HAISSSS

-有好多嘅嘢想分享，但系有覺得自己太似女仔，所以就算啦！HAISSSSS

-呢篇會係我2010年最尾嘅BLOG，祝大家新年快樂，新年新希望！！！

Es's top 10 hitz award!

2010-12-16T01:58:00.000+08:00

Ranking is no particular order.

1. You wouldn't answer my call - 2AM
2. It's okay even it hurts - Seohyun
3. Beautiful hangover - Bigbang
4. Jumping - KARA
5. Hoot - Girls' Generation
6. Why are you being like this - T♚ara
7. Like a G6 - Far East Movement
8. Love the way you lie pt. 2 - Rihanna ft. Eminem
9. Go away - 2NE1
10. After you fall as sleep - Taeyang

My favorite songs in recent....
If you need arts in your life, music is the main source. :)

12/16/10 0120am

2010-12-16T01:22:00.000+08:00

Semester 1 finished, burning my holiday now, not dare to plan any trip, insufficient of financial support, but hard to find a short period job too. Haisss... Staying in hometown few weeks then will back to prepare for new semester.My life living without objectives. Worst than a tramp. Really no idea what to do, plan to practice my language, it getting sucks like now. I awake and realized how a person will degenerate when he/she living without pressure and stress. I no means to showing off how good my life being but a person should get a life with some stress. The most unbelievable sometimes I found out my mind is retarding. It makes me worrying. Oow! Million hope the times pass quickly and I could starts my new class now!! Ki siao already :( Well, I must get some books and study through...If not I can't imagine what will be happen then. LoL...

世間太多的人情世故，
有很多的看不清，聽不明，
甚至猜不透，
往往我們都想去嘗試，
給予幫助，或是擁有，
但結果往往都是意想不到。
笑和哭都會是當中的常客，
如果嘗試將不必要的看開，
再將必要的看緊一些，
你會發現，
你的人生其實就只有你在操控著。

Happening：

2010-11-29T00:57:00.000+08:00

There was some unfamiliar stuff happened around me , I used to happy, worrying and got rage.
Especially, it happened at the same day. 26/11/2010 Friday.

Case 1:
Its my campus classmate, Kelvin's birthday, plus the day of the end of final exam. So, plan to give him a surprise and celebration . Yeah it was a great day. Bring him to Timesquare, Lowyat, and Pavillion mall, watched the fake snowing, pretend the detergent bubble as snow.Then, bought steamboat ingredient from Sg.Wang then back to start our great time . Surprising cake was not that effective because his mom bought him another one. But still a satisfied night for us.

Case 2:
This was the first seen for me since my college life till now. A guy don't contribute anything in an assignment, he group with my friends, so my friend just ask him for RM2x for the half of the overall expenses. He is procrastinate and wasted my friend's time but he still call his younger brother ,a uneducated teenager scold my friend back and claim that his bro should not pay for that. The second time he calling was our party time. Everybody was getting angry for this. And bla bla bla....my friend decided to deal this with our lecturer.

Case3:
Bad news to me when I'm in happy. My aunt called me and told that my mum was in hospital because of food poisonous for her intestine. I was like got serious shock and stun. After called my mom for situation only I could putting down my anxiousness.Praying she could get well soon. Amithaba.

Happiness is no longer,
Be treasure well of this,
Don't keep grudge in memory,
Intelligence improve non stop..:)

享受 “癫"...

2010-11-14T04:30:00.001+08:00

我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少没因为烦恼而过不去。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少不会因为伤心而掉泪。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少压力不会只压在头上。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少时间会过得快一些些。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少没去计较被哪个得罪。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少没空去理会别人的事。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少看不到太多人情世故。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少情绪不容易被受影响。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少不去在意别人的过错。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少别人不把我看得太高。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少没人把寄托放我身上。
我爱疯疯癫癫的过生活，至少我，还是一个完整的我...

扮疯癫的过生活，可另一个人完全抛出烦恼之外，今天我又疯癫了一次，陪朋友到Gardens买漫画专用笔，再到MV逛逛。意外收获！刚好这几天有什么Teens fiesta, 有舞蹈比赛，还有小型的PC Fair，代言各网络游戏的美女模特儿都超正的，令人鼻血垂三尺，所谓的养眼果然没错。回了家后，也疯疯癫癫的让Dota消磨了我与朋友们的周末。

今天堂姐的一句问话令我反思了几回，在我下午回家冲凉时她问了我：你拍拖了哦？把我给击了一下。因为不懂是谁告诉她我上星期六心情非常好，又不懂什么因素导致她误会了。思考了后，我是否应该放眼找个伴，不再“疯癫”的过活？是怕旧事重演? 还是对自己没信心？我是要等人选我？还是一切交由缘分决定？？？我唯有zzz...

生。日 (Birth 。Day)

2010-11-08T03:59:00.000+08:00

十一月的七号，都是我期待的日子...不是期待着别人给我的惊喜与祝福，而是更改我生命中的“主题” 回读了去年生日所写的部落，我决定把去年的主题---“成熟” 在今年改成“增进”，所谓一日之计在于晨嘛。在一位朋友打了电话过来祝福我后，我顿时回想起我去年的生日是在金宝与朋友讨论Management S. Assignment。但如今，我已在吉隆坡生活。时间是飞逝得好快啊。Facebook里共有118人对我的生日祝福，真是谢谢了。礼物？也就只是我老母包给我的红包。我不会在意有没有礼物，只是谁会记得我生日（虽然有Facebook记录），但是还是会感恩，同屋刚才问了我昨晚到哪里玩，我只说只与朋友逛了1U，买了几件新衣，就没说我生日什么的。所以，我瞒了我同屋们，没人知道我生日。哈哈哈。看了几位同生日的朋友庆生的照片，心里虽然是一阵的妒忌感，但是一股强烈的力量却把它盖了起来，告诉我说着这些我总有一天会一次过得到，我相信。
对于我生命的主题，“成熟”，我做到了，我掌握到怎样去理智，用成熟的眼光去思考，观察。可能也是因为我太过于成熟风格而遇到学业上的挫折。老师告诉我们学设计不在于成绩，而是学习过程，但我还是看不到这点。可能是以前的失败令我现在对成绩过于执着，我担心我的作品将来不被认同，所以我在今天把“增进” 这主题替换了“成熟”。今年，第十九年的我，要时时刻刻增进自己，无论是体格，语言，学业，知识，技巧，有机会接触的话都不可错过，我希望遇不到我一窍不通的东西，而且是有关艺术的，都不可错过。人生有多少个十年？我差不多用了两个。继续前进吧！！！

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7th November, is the day I always look forward for. Not the blesses nor surprises, but change of the "Theme" of my life. Got back to read my previous birthday blog and it makes me decided to change my theme of my life to "Improve" by "Mature" . Like the quote: a daily plan used to starts in the morn. Well, after a friend blessed my birthday by a call, I brought back my last year birthday memories immediately . We were discussing the Management S. assignment that time when Kampar life but now, I'm in K.L. The time past how quickly for that. And yeah, it were about 118 friends blessed me, really grateful for that. My presents? Just the ang pow given by mom. I won't mind is there any present for my birthday but who really remembered my birthday (Although it has state in Facebook), but I willing pay appreciation too. House mate asked how was my last day. I was described about I bought myself some shirts when shopping in 1U but did not mentioned is my birthday today. No body knew it was my birthday! hahaha...saw some birthday celebration photos by my same birthday friends. Of course it was a envying but a power has coped over it. It telling me I would get all these in one day...I'm trust it...

About the theme "mature", I think I was achieved it. I could manage to be rational, think and observe with a mature vision. It may some setbacks in my academics because of it too. Teachers told us achievement in design is not depend on result but the learning process. But I couldn't to really understand this so far. Maybe I was faced too much failure before and I am now very persisting for academic result, I always worry no one will admit my works. So I am change my theme by "Mature" to "Improve". My nineteenth year this year, I have to improve myself always, whether fitness, physically, language, academic, knowledge and skills is could not be missed when there is a opportunity for me. I hope I would never meet a problem that I don't have a solution, especially Arts. How many 10 years does a human has? I almost spent twice...Lets CONTINUE STEPS FORWARD~~

2010-11-01T01:33:00.000+08:00

吉隆坡，下雪

詞曲: 黃明志

在高樓之間空氣忽然冷卻

散落一地的是幸福的碎片

在城市裡面我被熱鬧凸顯

凍僵的臉再也撐不起笑靨

一個人容易疲倦睡了寂寞會不見

開著音樂空氣才不會凝結

窗外濕冷的季節包圍我的房間

我只能顫抖著閉上我雙眼

孤單的夜連吉隆坡都下雪

失溫的心抵抗不了這冬天

愛不在身邊牽不到快樂越走越遠

被寂寞奪走每一天每一夜

孤單的夜連吉隆坡都下雪

層層堆疊累積著我的抱怨

冷冷的傷感不敢觸碰卻不斷蔓延

從指尖慢慢一直冷到心的最裡面

黄明志新歌，吉隆坡下雪，听了这首歌后，仿佛觉得这简直就把我现在的状态完全唱了出来，当一个人完全孤独的时候，内心就只有冬天。有时候真的不知自己为什么会那么的觉得冷，关在房里不停的播放音乐，现在这首歌终于帮我解答。虽然一切都会船到桥头自然直，但是还没到船到桥头那艘船，正被一波未平，一波又起的浪攻击。也许，越独立的人，就会越坚强。

如今的你，是一只变色龙吗？

2010-10-16T04:11:00.000+08:00

突然有感而发，加上最近身边发生了某些事，想在这分享一下，自我中五毕业入了国民服务营之后，“我得变成一只变色龙” 的概念已种在我生命原则里至今。最近都可能在应用着这个技巧就连自己都不知道，因为都已经应用自如了。记得当初在营内躺在床上把这句话告诉了同中学的朋友（因为他是我隔壁床），还以为爱批评人的他少不了鸟我几句，但他却声声的说有道理，还觉得人长大了就应该要这样。这也使我对这一番道理的肯定。

所谓“变色龙” 相信有点华语知识的朋友们都可领悟当中的意思，不然一个人怎么变成变色龙？哈哈。直入话题，诸位朋友是否在日常生活中往往会被逼接触到一些自己不喜欢的事物，或则是人，但是又真的因为一些重要的利益而不能避免？相信这就是一种痛苦啊！现在，我们有时侯真的为了一口饭而做做变色龙，把自己给融入不喜欢的环境中。

有些人虽然样衰可恨，但是如果我们与他闹翻，不就是多了一个敌人？失了一双可能会帮助到我们的手？倒不如我们试试看用另一方面去看，可能会看到他们好的一面。所谓见佛拜佛，见神拜神，不如我们学习应人而变, 那不是会对我们自己有很大的利益？

有些人就是动不动就说他忍耐有极限，就与某人搞闹翻？那又何必？如果是事情分析了出来，错的会是你自己，当初是你把太多希望寄托在人家身上，人家犯了你一些，你就失大望。唉，另一方面，既然知道自己很固执，那是一个大缺点，为什么还不想办法除掉？为什么还要告诉别人说你就是这样？这不就是到处结怨？

就说我本身都有固执的一面，但那只是要保护自己底线的固执，人为自己定下底线是对的，但是定得还很高的话，就是害了自己。

最后，大家其实也没必要去观察身边哪一位是“变色龙”，只要他是无害而有利我们的，我们也得感谢他...

Depressed...

2010-10-09T03:55:00.001+08:00

3.16am, I checked into my blog, happiness has gone. Leaving unhappy be by my side. Sometime I feel that I'm afraid to face those fact just in front me.I might the one not working hard or smart anymore. Here I come to relieving, but once off my com, I have to stand for these ass hole too. My mouth keep talking how life is wonderful, but actually I think life sucks. There is so much unfair actually I force myself not to care. Pushing myself to stay cheerful is what I do frequently. So, this not me. Just pretending. I am a person actually need a hand to help too. Not the how tough and independent person you think as. Outside here, the tasks coming non stop. But I try to escape it by spent my time in dota nor sleep. I try do my work gently, but my high expectation really stunned me up. I not afraid to defeat by anyone merely I expect to done a nice work. So much things I hope to share and ask for opinion and some think I am just emo then crap alot. I not actually pretend as any stuff, this is the real me.Maybe no one will actually get noticed the sad expression of a clown. So, just leave me in the deep pit and I believe I able to climb out one day.

zzz

2010-10-08T01:11:00.000+08:00

Back to blog finally, in business recently, then spent short free time on Dota, I been back to the game. Hehe, I think it might only a short duration that i fascinate to it. Lol. I could see my English skill is in degeneration now,I can't write English well anymore in my homework. Maybe long time I don't blog? Well, I hope to improve back. Will be find more books to read. Hope it helps.

Erm...this is last week story ,my UTAR friends came KL for 1 week vacation ,sure I did join them for some activities and we do have a lot fun! Our relationships not faded but became more and more good. Yeah, really thanks to them and I able have a deep breath during my business period. And yet, wish they have a nice holiday and got a rest after a war against studies.

Yet, I am implement a plan which help me to save up my money, just a rough say, I restricting myself to spend only RM50 for daily meal a week.Hmm, if I gone thru the plan, I could able to save a quite amount of money..Yeah Yeah...Good Luck eveyone,see ya..

Readying..

2010-09-26T02:11:00.003+08:00

I am doing good recently, submitted second batch of assignments...not really satisfied what I am done for this time, my works done simply...I am felt very sorry to myself. So hope not to repeat again next time. Third batch of assignments, is about animation clips creation, campus shirt design, talk show (Different subjects), overall is group assignments, so am hope to do good with my group mates, other side, I felt exciting towards the talk show for the final assignments of English For Comm. So surprised lecturer was so agreed and used my idea to it for all of my course mate...I am just talk randomly for crap.Well yes I am did this before, no doubt I am highly confident with it. Merely hope to get well cooperate by mates,next, bla bla....lazy to mention alot about my studies, its a boring topic, Last, I am getting ready to those last assignment for this semester...Good luck everyone...

I am the one did the dialog, the picture named "The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo" hold CTRL key and roll your mouse wheel key to enlarge...XP

Feeling?

2010-08-13T00:07:00.001+08:00

Yeah blogger! I'm be here back! LOL
Although my blog does not interesting at all but I will still pay greets to you all.
Well, my life... still okay...
I still managed to complete my school work and assignment on time.
So, its alright.
But haiz.... school work is increasing, assignment is the same...
Sometimes need submit several school work and assignment in a week.
Maybe I stressed myself , but for me what I can describe is I just ensuring mine.
Sometimes I done the work given by tutor just after the class at home, if not, done the next day.
Take a nap when tired, continue after woke up. This is my life now.
Yes I got a lot of lesson in previously, because of I wasted my time.
Now, I can't afford to lose anything again and so, I did all these. I might have slightly changed but I do not find it out. Last time I used to come out with these word frequently ,"I still have alot time." but now I dislike peoples using this instead.
I felt good to our assignment mostly is individualize.So I could mange my own schedule to done it.And yet, I know we going to have a huge drama performance for our semester final project and I going to have a group with my classmates. I very hope my group will taking it seriously and not to pay a "randomize" attitude to it. Just watch some performance by our senior few days ago. Some of them were putting much effort and got a great reward but some are totally sucks.I can't accept that character's phone rang and he took out his phone and reply sms nor asking the judges to pause their performance a while because still have material never prepared yet. =,=

Although of this, but I am enjoying my days really. I used 'work smart' instead of 'work hard' to cope with what I facing now.Maybe sometimes I seems relax and laze in my class but I wish I could get reward with what I paid for. Last, hoping my life to be more challenging and exciting. Good luck guys..... '-'v

Comes new..

2010-07-23T00:08:00.000+08:00

Hey yeah I'm here. College life is beginning now, feeling? quite okay. Met some new friends, do have lunch with them every school day. Still having good impression to them. I hope this would maintain the same along my college life there. Hmm, about my study, consider quite easy, no worries. (Just for a period) comparing to previous, I used to scratch my head in the 1st lecture that is General Mathematics 1. For now, I just learn some in-depth drawing technique, it is quite complicated but easy to understand for me. I can handle well so far. :)

Just something my view to share here, by the class today , I can feel it out that I were being respected by some of my classmates , not because of I shared my background with them during class but are my ability was exerted. Maybe I have chosen the right way finally. Could I able to laugh until the end? Hope so~

金宝,我回来了...

2010-07-03T01:31:00.007+08:00

  六月二十九号，我做了一个荒唐事，从太平搭车到吉隆坡看我未来的学院，然后在隔壁的Subway坐下休息吃午餐，千算万算，就是算漏一样，下雨。因为老天不作美，要去看宿舍，但竟然是吃惊的远，没关系，还要越过两条真的像虎口的大道，可能有地道我不知道，但希望有吧。我不想生活在那超恐怖的地方，但没办法，只能抱怨了。吃完午餐后就趁小雨跑去了快铁站赶回巴士站等巴士，最后，到了我以前的家———金宝。

   回到了金宝，我的拉曼回忆顿时乏起，还以为自己回到了拉曼的生活，人物虽然有些小变动，但是他们友善的精神还是让我钦佩。他们不介意我的打扰，还牺牲了一些宝贵的时间来陪我追寻回我的回忆，真是对他们万分感激。老样子的，我们还是一样，爱吹，爱颓废，爱玩...虽然只有短短几天，但是对我来说已经是个让我放开很多烦恼的假期，对于我拉曼的朋友，只能说我在不对的地方遇上了对的人吧。

  在这透露我的一个秘密，就是我对朋友的定义非常的高，不被我认为的，都只会跟他做个嗨，拜的朋友，但是这些，对我来说是非常幸运可以认识他们这些那么好的朋友，所以一定要珍惜。我不把我在金宝的度假过程解释的太仔细，因此最后要祝福他们事事顺利，以后我有时间就一定要再去探望他们，只要他们不嫌我麻烦，我们在不同的地方一起努力吧～（如有照片我会上载）

What is this called?

2010-06-28T01:58:00.002+08:00

   So sorry everyone, I would like to make a post with anger mood. Really felt sorry for those visited here and will be read something childish word here. This made me tolerated for a long time, sorry now I could not continue onwards anymore. Is all about them, I work for them without salary because they are my parent, sometimes they only gave me some tips for it. Okay, I did not claim from them ONCE when I have to top-up the credit of my mobile phone, sometimes I pumped the car's petrol when I just drove for a short time because the car was insufficient of petrol, I did not claim my money back from them. But, my brother got fix pocket money every week for RN20. Got RM30 for mobile phone top up every month, claim extra pocket money when outing. What the H me as their son too did not get a lend from them for those I demanded for mine?! Yes I'm an adult now I should be more independence but sorry do the money drop from sky for me? I wait for my college sure I cannot go for a job. If not I do not care how much they would give me. Perhaps they think I study in college is a large burden for them so they should not provide too much for me, but this is unfair! for absolutely! When I just secondary school student that time I do not gain so much as my brother from them now. I save my pocket money for my top-up money of my mobile phone . This is a big different of me with my brother.
   Now is the time 1.30 a.m, my brother still crazy for his Dota game. Plus tomorrow is school day , and no one would scold him because he is a Good son. The one always wake up early in the morning to help his parent's work is not a good son. He always wasted his parent's money in his study but he is not able to be good in study too. Am I right? Just discuss with them about my accommodation in college, what the F they are debate to gain win?  The budget they suggest to me less than that time I study in Utar. KL not same as Kampar at all please. Guys do you agree? They gave me a reason where they want to do investment for estate. Oh that mean they invest for that rather than me? They are GOOD enough.
   I am seldom share my family background story to my friends because it is too complicated. Its hard to explain and hard to believe. It will make some of you think I am still do not feel satisfied with my good life. So there is only a friend was really understood my condition from previous till now because of we have the same story. By the way ,you all still my good friends, I promise I would share something with you all when you're be ready to listen. Okay. The night was late, I'm pray for a nice dream. Good night~

:]

2010-06-17T02:30:00.000+08:00

Woo-yeah ~
I submitted my application form for PJCAD enrollment few days ago. So get waiting they send me back an offer letter.Well after that, my new study life will gonna to start soon. With no doubt I'm in exciting mood for it. But there are somethings that make me in worrying too. Just made some draft budget about expenses while having life there. Hmm... I used the same thought with previous UTAR life. Not ask for too much from my parent. So...going to discuss with them about it. Then now this is the problem, I have a thousand wishing to get a cheaper rental and better hostel for me. According to the college's marketing agent, a good hostel is very hard to find.Only the fastest people can get a better one. If I don't have luck with me.I have to walk far distance from campus everyday, then high rental for that also. Argh... this is making me confuse. Without other choices I can
only get there to search for mine. Hope that offer letter send to me quickly.I really felt bothersome now, really....God bless me...Amithaba...
Okay seems my school life is going to start soon, so I gonna to share some planning or thought with my friends here. This time, I don't have so much worry about the studies with the course. But I hope I'm not walking to the wrong way again. I would not allow the fool to happens twice.Then this also a fresh challenge for me. I willing to stand and stay in new environment alone. Meets new friends, and new things.Without any old friends and even relatives although they just stay near.I hope to be more independent this time.And by discuss this with my parent, I knew they are not fully rest-assured to me. Although around in KL PJ is full of entertainment, but I hope can keep a distance from them.Phew...last word here, hope everything goes well... :)

Random

2010-06-03T00:57:00.002+08:00

A period I didn't update my blog. :)
Now I'm back for add one on it. My days past nicely. Everything still the same yet.I'm in waiting my coming new life, would it same as previous? or would be something new? I don't know. Just welcome everythings' coming. Hope and praying it is a good life.Then ya! I want to congratulate my previous UTAR's friends are having their new degree campus life. Some might still continuing their fourth semester but here also I wish them a good luck and hope they will be succeed to degree course later.I am still in arrangement with my free time and I hope to be there to meet my UTAR friends up. They are good person and I won't forget them all. How they think about my plans? aiks thats poor I am still considering my time.But do not worry guys I will try hard to take out a time to meet up yours. Hope you all are not in busying. :]

Next...is about a guy.Should the term "Guy" able to use on him? or he just a naively KID? Okay my story is here, a kid's brain might been polluted badly or what else I did not know. He just think he is a hero. As still in the student age, he wanted to withdraw his study and go for work as a buffalo.His parent were burn for this.So he gave a reason about his decision. "Today I give up this that I not in talented (means study),I start to work as my best, I start save up my salary ,I would able to feed my family up in future days." One word can describe it, STUPID. Just laugh at this boy guys. What a brainless word can be talked out from his mouth. Hey boy, who do you think you are?Genting Uncle Lim? take a look to calenders please.Year 2010 today. Build a house with a pair of empty hand? Oh gosh... I felt sorry to criticize the boy here. By the way, I hope the boy could make a simple think: you are not valuable and nobody will feel sad if you died at roadside. But think of your parents, they don't treat you like that, they always be there to help you but time was limited too. No humans can escape from death. Till that time who do you gonna to find help? Your brother? He gave you help many times but you did not treasure it at all. He was already gave up to you. But I think he maybe will sympathize you. Only maybe.

FIFA World Cup

2010-05-06T02:51:00.002+08:00

最近FIFA世界杯即将来临，可在报章，电视，收音机等各媒体中得知，64场球赛将会展开，可见世界各地的艺人或歌手都特别制作一些为自己国家打气的歌，身为足球友的我，当然也是在期待着，但是恐怕没机会观看，因为将会再次离乡背井。不过还是没关系，虽然我眼睛没在看，但心里也在感受着气氛。

还记得我第一次接触足球好像是在2002年，也因为那一年有韩日世界杯使我更爱足球，早踢晚也踢，就连走路走到一半都要摆出射球的姿势。可笑，可笑。射高球技巧都是我自己研究出来的，还有贝克汉的香蕉球都找到了技巧，只是太难做到罢了。因为以前的我是个胖子，所以每次踢球时都被人叫去做守门。但是那时的我一点也不感到自卑，我认为守门也是个很伟大的工作，所以虽然是街边比赛，我都会拼了命去扑，去挡。也因为有时扑身救球时插伤手脚和球射得太大力而扭伤手，甚至被吃脸。哈哈，也很不好意思在这说，也因为我有这种不怕死的精神而救过了很多危险球，也因此要分队踢球时我都是被抢来抢去做守门。

上了中学，我开始接触防守，中场和前锋位置。不再傻傻去做守门，慢慢的我也就学习更多的技巧，角球，自由球，远传。过后再学准度，带球，抽射，远射。过程我懒惰多说了，呵呵，虽然我到现在还不是以个很强的足球员，不过还可以说是个很有贡献的球员吧。哈哈。

话说回来，我到现在总共追看了两届世界杯，最支持的队伍也就是英格兰，因为我常看英超联赛和英格兰队还蛮多球星，不过今年我有机会的话会保持中立，这场爽到哪队就支持哪队，开心就好。哈哈。最后，祝大家世界杯快乐 Happy FIFA World Cup~

Please reflect on yourself..

2010-04-25T01:50:00.000+08:00

Okay I know you won't read this, you are not required to read too, but please, I am begging to you, use your brain if you have one. You are not rationality at all. Don't you know actually your parent is too doting to you until now you are spoiled by them.Yeah my talk is not sweet as you to make them feel good always. I admit it. But you always use this to cover your fault .I know you are always do this to me too but so sorry I hate it actually. Go and stand in of the mirror and reflect on yourself. DotA?! F**k it!! I hate it deeper and deeper now. Just keep it as your hobbies and believe it would give you a brilliant future. You will regret one day for sure. Yes I used to worst in study. But I survived at last and I sure you will not if you continue your life like this.I not means to screw you but I want you be good actually. F**k yeah you want to blow me back?Don't act gangster infront of me boy,I not a nerd! Don't threat me to becareful when outing. I do have your kind of uncultured friends also.Just call your friend come and touch me if you want. You'll be a hero,you'll feel proud and you'll satisfied. Call your friend "Ah kor" and not me.Because I harming you but your friends don't and they are helpful right?You are the one have to get a life but not me.I am been good in my life and this won't harm anyone too.So just continue your way if you think it is correct.I will leave home soon for a period. You can do whatever you like I do not care anymore.I had done my best responsibility and now just let the fate decide your future.Good Luck.

Be treasure...

2010-04-22T02:53:00.009+08:00

The earth is mad now,A number of disasters and tragedies happened recently,theres 3 earthquake happened in 4 month this year.So much life been grabbed by god.And plus so much of human lost their families,assets and belonging.Just at a sudden without expected. Blood and tears are drop on the ground.Crying and groaning of pain can be heard everywhere.

When we plan to have a new mobile phone.
When we plan to have a new mobile car.
When we plan to have a trip with friends.
When we plan to have a best tenderloin steak.
When we plan to have a crazy shopping day.
When we plan to have a great clubbing night.

But for them, they do not have any plan anymore.They can't do shit to plan anything.All the victims are do not have a better choice.No one will understand the feeling of the victims including the writer of this blog.If someone kill your family, you may live toughly because you wish you could find chance to revenge,if someone robbed your purse, you may still have some assets in your home.
But for them, killer of their parents,children and siblings is the god, god grabs whatever belong to them, could them fight against the god?They are just walk alone in the jungle,without partners,without even some tools and equipments.No ones have the rights to call them live strong and tough or consolation.Except who sitting on the same boat with them and facing the same case.If not, we only can hope and deep pray for them.

My words : I do not able to help them a lot. But as a Buddhist I have done a deep pray "阿弥陀佛" for those victim were so unluckily lost their life in the tragedies.We will not going to know what will happens tomorrow, but live with fully treasure with everything around us is very important.If little help could makes the victims smile,why don't we spend it off?

:-)

2010-04-17T04:59:00.002+08:00

最近发现了原来我的部落没什么人来观看，感觉有点闷闷的，也没有打算到处推出去给人，让有缘人经过时刻以看几眼就够了，各位有缘人经过时欢迎留下脚印，让我可以随着脚印去探访下.
-Any visitors welcomed to leave your web link here so I can visit back your page too.Thanks-

最近日子过得特别快，一眨眼一星期便过去了，眨多几眼就到下个月了，终觉得我应该去外面捞一些事来做，这样不是办法，虽然在家也有工作做。有些梦是可以去追求，但也有些梦在睡觉时作就够了，我应该知道我必须做什么了。明白不同人有不同命运是很重要的。希望把发型换了，会有新的转机。

李孝利新专辑

Learn

2010-04-07T03:24:00.002+08:00

Hello.*Waving hand*
It is a period I never do update my blog.
A layer of dust was covered here.
So I gonna to tidy something.
Although my life are so freedom but I don't have blogging feel so far.
Maybe it is too free and nothing to describe in certain life.
This called living without target.
Sleep, help out my parent's work, and so...
Is a day overred.Nothing special,nothing interest.
Some friends of mine are admiring my freedom life right now.
But for this I will just shook my head and not going to agree.
As a teenager today,we should go out and get more experience to benefit ourselves.
But look at me,a 19 aged man still sticking with his family? Oh my...
Hmm, there are many things to let me consider and make decision recently.
I just done it.I'll go for work a long period only continue my education.
Because I realized some opinion and views by my relatives.
(Maybe this is a selfish thought,hope you all not to mind it)
I think actually going for colleges,graduate,get a cert is actually not important in a person's future.Going for colleges is actually same as working (depends in which field).Both are equalized by a LEARN word.CERT? Do you think now we couldn't a job without cert? Using brain to work smartly will bringing you a brilliant future too.But what will makes us become smart? For those not intelligent person like me,learn and experience is very important and necessary.Sometimes I wondering do I felt regret to withdraw from UTAR? But I answered to myself NO.I don't sleep and dream in my whole UTAR life.I had learned and got so much experience there.
Without going there,I won't find a way to improve my language,communication with people well.
without there, I won't know the ways to format a computer's operating system and many of IT knowledge,
without there,I won't get to know so many of experiences by different people.
This is what I LEARNED.Nothing to felt sad or whatever.
So now,I'll trying to look further a better job.Get a better life and getting more experience.Step back to campus?I'll do it if I need to learn something that does not exist in my community.Good luck to my friends.Keep in touch and take care :)

Decadently...

2010-03-09T01:54:00.009+08:00

Sometimes,we should be appreciate what are we holding, but sometimes, we forced by some reason to struggle for more.No body will feel contentment.For me,just like to dream somethings that not able do so. Want to be success in future? Still in a longer and longer distance.Look at my situation, look at my face,only one thing can describe that I have to appreciate and accept what I having right now.Do not be greedy and always lying on bed keep dreaming all the impossible.Are these all are my fate? Am I gonna to follow all that already scheduled by the god since I born in this world?I know that my family not going to ask so much from me, but I just keep forcing myself to score a brilliant in future. How? keep doing my research by surfing the internet.Seeking for the next college for me, then decide which field should I enter into, and somehow, I trying hard to learn other countries' language.Woot...One question to the readers, am I trying to wasting my time which I have to do the other things?Hmm...I don't know, just felt I just keep doing the useless.All of these would not help me out in my future as my prediction.But this is only the free period for me because I have to get a job then continue my new education soon.Later onwards I won't get a opportunities to do these all.About the jobs? I don't know where to get.Feel very confusing without a direction. I wanna find a job that can exert my forte into.But it seems don't have that job for the high school graduation cert holders.By the way, I can just pick a job randomly at least I can learn new things a lot.Its okay if the salary not lower than my value :] Lastly, just keep decadently and learning to those useless language for me until I find and get a job.

A Creed to Live By

2010-03-06T02:40:00.003+08:00

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others,
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goal by what other people deem important,
Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart
Cling to that as you would your life,
for without them life is meaningless,

Don't let your life slip through your fingers
by living in the past or the future
By living your life one day at a time,
you will live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give
Nothing is really over,until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect,
It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life
by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly,
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings,

Don't dismiss your dreams,
To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast
that you forget where you've been,
But also know where are you going,

Life is not a race,but a journey to be savored,
every step of the way...

unknown author,
gave by Mr. Abel Lee,
my previous university lecturer.
I think this is a meaningful poems,
thats all is what we gonna to face in our life,
I can't do well to become a good human as the poem stated.
But I will keep trying...

休息后再来(Start again after the break)

2010-02-25T08:32:00.005+08:00

今天起身得特别早，原因就是我得开始我决定要做的一切，
父母也知道了我考不上的事情，
是我看了成绩后直接告诉他们的，看到了他们失望的表情，
让我尝到了口水也吞不下的感受，
真的很对不起他们，不过我没做亏心事，那是我能够做的，
我尽力了，虽然可以上诉要求赦免停学,
也听人说我的成绩还有得挽救，
但是这就是命运安排给我的一切，
长痛不如短痛，与其在那里读到那么辛苦，
倒不如忍痛一刀把它砍断，
去找新的路，好过继续颓废的走在这迷茫的路，对吗各位？
另外一方，要感激一班现在跟我同校的中学朋友，
他们知道我的过去，也了解我的能力，
所以都很尽力的扶持着我，
成绩一出第一时间问我怎样的就是他们，
接下来就是我的同学，他们是在我上课时努力扶我一把的人，
当我把不明白的地方过问他们，第一时间就给我指示，
Assignment work也拼了条命去做，为的就是要把分数拉高，
他们每个都很友善，很爱帮助弱者，无数的谢谢是非归他们莫属，
也抱歉他们需要帮助时能力差的我未能立刻上前帮忙，
最后说对不起都补偿不到的，就是我宿舍的同屋，
我这样一离开，他们的水电费的负担会加重，
虽然我知道哪一个同屋会取代我的房间，
但是让他们以为多了一个新同屋也减少了负担的计划也破碎了，
我真的深感歉意。

第三学期的第一个星期，我会回到金宝搞定我的手尾，收拾东西，过后我就正式进入我人生中的第二个休息时期，要工作？还是继续升学？仍在决定中...

希望。梦想

2010-02-20T21:12:00.005+08:00

农历新年，
身为一个华人的我，
当然是永远少不了喜庆一番，
从吉隆坡回家，
路程当然艰难，因为大塞车，
这使我感受到每辆车里的人都抱着开心心情回家乡的那种感觉，
坐习惯长途车的我，
也会有一种迫不及待的心情，
团圆饭，还是依旧，
简简单单的做一个火锅，
年初一，呆在家，
等亲戚来拜年，今年冷淡了很多，
因为吉隆坡的亲戚都来不到，
只是托一些亲戚把红包送来，
接下来的日子就不停的外出-朋友家拜年，聚会，
我参的朋友不多，所以来来去去都是那几个，
与他们在一起永远不会感觉到闷，
而且很崇拜他们有了自己的方向，
我呢应该是他们之中最颓废的那个，
自己都不清楚自己在做什么，
不过，我很了解现在我所做的根本就不是我想要的，
我是要继续走冤枉路？还是要赶快转方向？
今年已经快要十九岁人了，
再浪费掉时间的话，真的就是没药救了，
我非常羡慕那些年纪轻轻，
就得到不小的荣誉，已经闯出了一番成就的那些人，
例如歌手，演员，运动家。
我是多么想的像他们一样，
用着自己的才能，闯出一番业绩，得到人们掌声的那个，
可惜，我就没那个机会，没那个命，
也有可能机会还没到，这也是我一直给自己的借口，
可是认真的看下去的话，
我可以知道我真的需要去寻找机会，而且得尽快，
不然时间越长，属于你的机会越就不属于你，
所谓临河而羡鱼，不如归家织网，
我会开始不停的寻找我所属的方向，
直到无路可走为止，
在此也祝各位，新年快乐，万事如意，恭喜发财！！

Life after that....

2010-02-10T11:18:00.004+08:00

Time always pass quickly,
This is what I ever believe...
A terrible examination week just over at a blink of my eyes,
Yes! I done my well best on it...
Really...
I just slept 3 or 4 hours a day during the week,
of course pressure caused me have a spirit like that,
I can wake up without alarm clock,
then continue my revision until morning or afternoon then go for exam directly,
this is what I done to ensure I not forget what I memorized,
But,I don't want to comment a thing about my exam,
I already gave all what I can done,
the rest all depend on fate,
I would stay on if the fate give me the chance to do so.
Okay, I at KL having my holiday at KL with my friend, Kc right now.
Staying in his college, Multimedia University.
environment here quite nice and daily expenses there almost less than my living expenses in current campus,
just if don't want hang out to KL town frequently,
and of course not include the study fees,
but it isn't a problem for me,
hope I have a chance shift to this university,
But hope forever a hope,
we can't do expect too highly,
because I must get foundation cert in my current university only can do transfer to this university continue my degree courses,
if not I can't fulfill their requirement for study their foundation in Information Technologies courses.
A few days before, heard my friend said about one girl of my cadet junior,and my family know her family also,this year she should be 18,
having her sweet 18 life,but unluckily god wasn't treat her like that,
she knocked down by a vehicle in someday before and coma for few days,
lastly,she gave up struggling for her life in this morning,I can't explain a feeling that rise in my heart now.She was a sweet and nice girl.And some more was my member when cadet life.
But why? Why the fate treat her like that?
It is quite not fair enough!!!
Just end a girl's life that she will be going to college soon.
We can't do anything and salvation now,
only can pray for her, Rest In Peace,
and wish her family can continue their life toughly.
After this story,
I learned something,We really can't do shit for predict when are our life going to end on. We should appreciate what we having and holding in current life. I still feel luckily and fortunately although my life are suck through now.
I must be treasure everything beside me and continue live in this cruelly life,
and keep struggling to achieve my goals.

My Top 20 Music...

2010-01-25T05:21:00.006+08:00

Damn boring these time,
No entertainment,only do study for me,
Watch movie?games?
NO...it is quite wasting my study time,
cause I need more time to done study to my 5 subjects,
aikz...
But there is only 1 thing that can let me relieve my tiredness and boredom,
Listen to music and songs...
especially K-Pop..
i was addicted and fascinated with it...
here are my recent Top 20 song and music that required to listen daily...

1. Wedding Dress - TaeYang
2. Where U At - TaeYang
3. Change - Hyun Ah
4. Tears - SNSD
5. Etude - SNSD
6. Dear Mom - SNSD
7. Kissing You - SNSD
8. Ring Ding Dong- SHINee
9. Seoul Song - SNSD & Super Junior
10. Abracadabra - Brown Eyed Girls
11. Blame It On The Pop 2009 - DJ Earthworm
12. One Time - Justin Bieber
13. Nothing Gonna Change My Love - Khalil Fong
14. Russia Privjet- Basshunter
15. Boten Anna - Basshunter
16. 求佛 - 誓言
17. Its You - Super Junior
18. Gee - SNSD
19. Bo Peep Bo Peep- T-ara
20. I See You - Leona Lewis

According to the list I can realize that me as a English Hit listener now already became a K-Pop fascinated guy especially Taeyang, I fucking addicted to his song, Wedding Dress,damn much appreciate the melody and his voice,sounds like Ne-Yo's style.Additionally nice story for his music video,is about a guy lost his opportunity to proposing marriage with a girl but let the other guy took that chance.It looks sadly for.Plussing a sicked dance in it.I really appreciate the dance steps most.A excellent dance.Hope I got time to take a learn to this dance.Just take a look to the video below and you will understand the overall and the reason for me do listen to this song 2x time in a day.(Stop off my page song before do watching)

Strongly recommend this song for those visitor in my blog.Really a nice song and you will not regret for wasting your time with it.

Last Try + Me + Good Luck

2010-01-18T01:50:00.005+08:00

Now, I would divide my today's blog into 3 sections.

Last Try

This maybe the last blog that I post with my life in UTAR.Why?I think you all should know the final examination is getting nearer and nearer to us. And this will be a LAST TRY for me to pass to next semester.If I still mention anything about my study life,that means I was safe from termination ,if I wrote something about farewell. Means...(you all should know it).Hmm...Don't worry dude, that not means I giving up,I just put here a notification.About my progression for preparing to face the exam,it still going smoothly. Trouble not encounter me yet.I know it will knock me down at one day SOON. Never mind,I am not gonna to try to avoid and escaping.Just come and challenge me.Yeah.By the way, I will struggling till I come to the fore.Lets fight for the brilliant!!!

Me

Looked myself in front the mirror a day, suddenly a lot if things raised in my heart, and so taking this opportunity to reflect on me,what would I do if I really terminated by campus? Do I really chosen to the wrong way for my future? I don't know how to give a explanation to myself. I felt apologize to myself that I can't give myself to walk on a better way. I should be clear and understand that there is no way for me to make a contingency.I should oppose my parent at that early time and let them know keep reading and memorizing to those books is not my forte.I used to be a sleeping student while high school although I study science stream class--the precipitated class for the fallen science student,but still got people been revived at last.I hibernated until the last few month only fight for the SPM exam.Really fortunate,I just got a certificate that can be used to apply for colleges and universities.What I like and interesting with still are imagination and designing.I used like to think a new idea, create a creativity stuff but not keep reading and memorizing to those fucking notes and books now.Just keep an eye to my small test result,absolutely suck and rotten through enough.I don't think I am a stupid guy around these environment.Just I really can't find a chance to exert my expertise.Become a successful designer was my dream since I 15 years old and I changed my mind to take Information Technologies course when I listened my parent's advice after I got my SPM cert.It is useless that I got a little bit interest with the IT and computer stuff.But however, no matter how,I will still be tough although I'm at the wrong way unless I been completely defeated.

Good Luck

Before end this blog, take this opportunity to wish those will taking the second semester final examination GOOD LUCK and hope got a flying color's result in your exam. Same to me,wish myself can do well the task that I impossible to done.Very hopeful can continue to share my UTAR life with you all here.Hope there is a miracle for me ...Good Luck!!

Felt curiously.

2010-01-12T02:18:00.002+08:00

The world was full filled with weired and strangely.Even the uncountable humans in the world.I guess there are uncountable types of character and habits of human such as childish, stingy,greedy,friendly,maturely and more.It cause some argument between the human which don't have same habit and character.Why I so strangely tonight? Discuss about these kind of stuff here? Actually I just feel curious about different human that holding different habits.Lets talk a example, why some people are so generous until can forgive other's fault arbitrarily and some people could not do that?They just act like a kid although they are suppose to be mature.Just a little offense but looks like a seriously hurt for them.Does it really painful for them and why it didn't affect me?I am sweat to see that.Just shook my head and say “haiz”.They really want all the human besides them threat them well and nicely?Can't they protect themselves by their own and learn to be tough? We could not able to blame them because we are not qualified to teach and instruct them about our views because sometimes we are also same situation as them and considered not rationality.Does it means talking or take action before filtered by the brain? Please don't do the naively and silly things if wan't to get respect from the others.For those like to go their own way all the time,I am nothing to describe more.I would be a person that respect other's decision all the time.Wishing them good luck and I would pray for them also.

Thanks ..

2010-01-08T00:15:00.002+08:00

Been sick at the second day of new year, what the fuck man, extremely suffering and sickness,got high fever, throat sore, cold,and coughing some more, been fucking weak that time, just lying on the bed and could not be able to move,it is useless I back to my hostel so early days to do study.Feel so helpless because of home alone,luckily I been success hang on until the next day and got medicine from my house mate which just came back to hostel.Thanks for the medicine,it make my health in recovery now.Finally wasted a weekend again without done anything.No one was going to blame for causing me got that seriously sick.All of them are caused by my greedy.Haiz,maybe this year was a bad luck year for me because I never got this when year 2009.Lack of praying?Maybe.After that,my voice became hoarsely.Fuck.I still have 2 presentation at the coming days,how I gonna to present well? Oh my god,I have to face the fact, no choice for me.Fortunately some of my friends were gave me some certain help because of my sick,a very much thanks for them.Plussing have to go my classmates house done the preparation of our press conference presentation in continuous day until late night which is from Monday to Wednesday and our presentation is falls on Thursday morning. Really a exhausted life for us.Felt tired.But I enjoy the time that we make preparation which alike with my secondary school youth cadet's life. As the result our effort did not disappointed us and reward with the praise form tutor.(photo will be upload) Thanks for those that gave a help in our presentation.It was a successful presentation.Just missed a clear and good voice by me in that.If not I think it will be a perfect presentation XD.

2009 -END-

2010-01-01T01:31:00.002+08:00

Sleep and wake up, till the end of the year and welcoming the new year again.I just feel that the time pass quickly. Everything just over at a blink of my eyes,graduate from secondary school,entered national service training,worked at KL,and continuing my education at University of Tunku Abdul Rahman. What I gonna to express here is there are a meaningful year for me in my life. Without any doubt,I was learned a lot of things,knew a lot of friends in different environment.I felt much honored that I have these opportunity to know through learning or by experience. Thanks for those who make these for me. New year,new hope?Hmm....for me not.As the reason that I haven't achieve my goal that hold at previously,so,no new hope will going to plan,to think about,and to set. There are nothing is going to change. I would staying with the exhausting and cruelly life, do well in my study is my principle ever. The others such as finding an attachment,enjoying college life, whats I hope is they will not emerge in my life, excepting for study well I really hope nothing will be affect me to abandon that.And second semester's final exam is around my side now, I really want to do well with it.Hope there is a rainbow after the heavy rain.So lastly, gonna end my this short blog here by wishing those visit my blog page Happy New Year!!

过分！！

2009-12-26T02:20:00.003+08:00

最近，发现到我做什么事情都很过分，
爽爽就睬人，爽爽就不睬，有话就讲，没话就闭上嘴巴，
搞情绪化？过分！
读书，坚强，努力？
那些道理已被我抛到云霄，
真是过分！大学里这个学期的我就是越来越过分了，
过分到竟然能要三个星期都连续回家乡，
现在已经是第二个星期回了，
下个星期还打算回呢！过分！现在已经接近大考了，
我还能这样，我不怕了吗？
为什么就是要回去换手提电脑？
现在的电脑不能用了吗？爸爸吩咐的不能叫他等大考完吗？
我是贪心吗？因为那手提电脑比我用着的那台好很多，
等到爸爸一提起要跟我换，就赶着要飞回家乡换？
下个星期就因为要出席我中学的少军团团友大聚会,
不出席的话会有愧于我的老死党，
所以我下个星期也会回家，
我忘了我在大学生活的没上学的时间就只有在宿舍掌控老师所教的课业？
虽然我把书带回家乡读，
但是能完全专注读吗？真是过分！我忘了这个学期是我的最后机会，
不然再不考好的话就要被踢出校了，到时要找别的大学或学院？或者直接工作？
我不想比慢人家一步，也不想打死一世苦工，
我上个学期非常少回家，呆在宿舍，不要回家，
但考出来的成绩烂透顶了，
不过这学期我经常回家，但我发现到我对课业的了解度不浅，
是这个学期的课容易，然后就只有我笨？
还是我常回家做孝顺，然后有好的报应？
还有，队友们赶assignment，我竟然把自己的东西做完交上就算了，
没去多理会，是我觉得帮不上忙？还是我要省时间专注在自己的学业？
真是过分!过分自私！真的对不起他们，
现在真的可见时间不够用了，所以我要回家或去玩的时候一定要把课业掌控好，
上完课就要回家休息，不要留在学校“做无”，然后晚上要打拼了，
最后我也想问我自己，
我，过分得对吗？

Fair?

2009-12-10T01:21:00.005+08:00

Hmmm~ Its time to end the day again,I sitting down in front of my desktop,by listening to my idol's song,a whim feeling forcing me to express my mood by blogging here,don't know what to talk about here,it was the lately night now,but I can't have my sleep yet because my work haven't be done.About the Mass Communication mid-term test today, there are just proving to us about effort can be reward with achievement, was this reason been justified? For me, I would not able to fully accepting.Why? Because it will be not fair to some people, I'm don't know how to describe these kind of stuff, but what can I say are just telling out the truth.For a common example thats why some people selected the choice to end their life.Are them just not treasuring their wonderful life? Do their "wonderful" life satisfying them? Of course not.Fortunately I am a tough and fortitude person.If not I may step on their ways also.As my friends said life was that unfair, depends on how a people going bear off the fact.I appreciate that.Fucking cruelly fact make me can't do any refusing and escaping.I damn upset for. My effort will not do fully exchange for success such as my previous test and exam in campus.Spending whole spirit and time for revise does not deal for brilliant achievement but is the fucking bad result.What to do? ready to spend my own money to take the repeat class.In the other side my friends told sometimes we cannot feel disgust to those fact.So means I have no choice except accepting that, and keep living in these cruelly life.

“ 忍。耐 ”

2009-12-04T03:43:00.003+08:00

最近在不知不觉中，发现身边朋友们的失败，失利，损失都是因为缺乏忍耐。也很有心情的，我想在这里谈谈这个话题，其实，何为忍耐？如何运用忍耐？忍耐有限？每个人想法不同，有人想，忍耐只是一件很丢人的行为，也有人想，忍耐只会让一个人损失，失去的更多。我觉得，所谓忍耐的“忍”字，就是在指容忍的意思，而“耐”就是在表达耐心。在这复杂凌乱的社会，却乏容忍和耐心可能会让一个人的前途尽废，失去一个男/女朋友，妻子/丈夫，毁灭良好的家庭关系，断送钱财，甚至是那宝贵的性命！先说说我本身，就是因为失去忍，失去耐，一直认为自己所驾的Yamaha 135LC摩托，就是要达到属于它所拥有的速度才叫好，也时常忍不住rempit们的挑逗而跟他们跑过，就是因为缺乏了这两点，导致了我人生中可能会差点断送性命的车祸，幸亏那时擦撞过后的我没撞向火车路篱笆门的铁杆，不然也没机会在这写部落格，在今年也因为没耐心而把我老爸的Merc开了花，五六千零吉的修整废费。其实我承认自己改了很多，很会吞声，很会包容，为什么？就是因为很明显。我学习这些东西的地方就是在国民服务和在工作的时候，国民服务没有人不知道各式各样的人都会，而且我都试过要向那些Mx人动手，因为他们太过分了。不过，自己躺在床上思考，他们这种性格我都不能容忍，将来休想闯出一番事业。在工作时也一样，上司虽然很没道理的训了你一顿，要是你反驳，不就打烂自己的饭碗吗？所以说，有时忍一忍，把气吞一吞，把它忘掉，不就没事了吗，虽然最近在街上都会遇到很欠扁的人，但是为了自己的形象，少咒骂人一句，包容他们的笨蛋行为，那不就世界和平了吗？虽然话是这么说，但我们也不可以排除“人的忍耐度是有限的”这个道理，难道面临着生命危险，危在旦夕还要忍，还要耐吗？不过我们也不可以经常把这个道理挂在嘴边，是因为我们在日常生活中很少会碰到生命危机。偶尔塞下车，被人家开了玩笑，也没什么大不了，除非它让你名誉扫地，不然也尽量把它忍一忍吧。我承认现在的我就是会敏感到一些人家对我的举动而产生忍耐不了的现象而“大开杀戒”，我还是得像其他的高人学习，一直都把“忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空”挂在脑海里，凡是做什么都用它来过滤先，然后每当就是遇到该忍，该包容的时候我都会尽量包容和忍耐，最后也希望缺乏了这“忍耐”的朋友们能顺利找到启示，而我也一样，一起努力吧！

The moment with them,my old friends...

2009-11-28T08:05:00.010+08:00

Its Haji Holiday,

Classmates backed hometown ,

So the week will not be assignment discussion,

I also same as them throw aside my stupid damn work,

Back to my hometown with one of my housemate ,

This time,I'm not the one just stay with myself,

That was a small re-union for me among

my secondary school youth cadet friends.

Although most of them still staying

at my hometown for studying form 6,

but we seldom make gathering cause of

insufficient of time for me,But now,

A whim feeling was filled up my mind to meet them,

so I appointed them for a karaoke at mall,

As the result they didn't not disappoint me,

They promised my invitation,

but some will not joining me as my surely prediction,

Finally they filled up their attendance

for those I hoping him/her to join me,

Once step in the karaoke center we only

realize the fees quite expensive cause

of public holiday for that day,

We discussing for moving to another

karaoke center at other location,

But the traffic quite badly that day

plussing we just found our parking not easily.

At the end we decided staying there to having our karaoke there.

After making the expensive payment only for 2 hours,

we start our fun moment there,

yeah, I found back our crazy and fun

memories when we gather while secondary school life,

Finished our last sing there,

So we filling up our stomach at the

famous food court in my hometown ,

I realized the food served there was not worth with its price,

But isn't the problem for me,

because we just want to find a place to

sitting down and have a chit-chatting.

The time passed quickly,

we disband our activities at 2.40am,

It was a enjoyable moment for me with them,

although I felt that our cogitation already become more maturity ,

But it still contained some element that we having previously,

The Final word,

I still appreciate with yours,

my buddies~Kc,Kf , Bi, Hwa, Su...^^

**********************************************************

The next day,

Have a shopping with Kc at Tesco ,

cause of buying something that for use in my hostel,

the traffic quietly bad in status,

we tried to took the risk to shop there,

the nightmare was started after we maked the decision,

there was the damn f**king seriously traffic jam after we bought our stuff,

That make our vehicle just got stuck at situ,

I really speechless for that situation,

The others? Same feeling with us I think,

from 5pm till 7pm...

Our stomach cannot be tolerate anymore ,

So that we took our dinner at Central McDonald's ,

after dinner,back to our car,

still the same, f**k!!

some more my housemate urged me cause he was waiting to fetch me back to Kampar, I am still stucked at the way,cannot go back my home to make

preparing, and I would not leave Kc alone to let him staying there ,

So that I call my housemate that I will going back my hostel by myself,

I didn't experienced that before and it were the first time for me,

We could not do anything ,so just sit inside the car and keep awaiting,

Saw some driver gone mad that time,

keep pressing their car horn, kicking the corn beside the way,

I hoping the traffic cops would do something that time,

Finally,Kc asked me drove his car entered the opposite direction way and we success gone out from the parking lot and leaved the f**king place at 10.00pm something.Really apologize and felt embarrassed to Kc cause he was fetching me and I suggested him to park his car on second floor then we jamming at there.I wasting his time to accompany his girl because he will going back to KL in the next day also.

Sorry ya~~

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

A cemetery for my grave...

2009-11-23T02:22:00.007+08:00

The night already comes late,

I still cannot fall asleep,

just tumbling my body around on the bed,

as common it was confirm affected by my study pressure,

Some more I facing my mid-term test around these few weeks,

although I just picked five subject to study in this semester but it still quite stressful for me now,

House mates discussing about some drama and movie at parlor,

but me? I just keep sealing myself in my room and reading to the lecture slides and notes,

Oh my god, I really don't have a free time to relax except for my dining time,

study already occupied about two quarter of my daily life time,

I considered I already being put much effort on my studies,

but it just disappointed me with my weak memorize skill,

i really cannot exert once of my strength that what I prepared in peacetimes,

fuck, damn stupid of mine mind,

I just not only disappointed myself,

and it to my classmates that who encouraged and helped me around in certain time,

plus two of my house mates,they just teach and instruct me on my study patiently because the stupid me would not going to absorb what they teach easily,

haiz...the obstacles emerged more and more now,

assignment due date is getting nearer and nearer,

and I still have to revise for my test ,

and plus have to done the assignment as soon as possible with my group mates,

that kind of life really paralyzed me,

even don't have enough time to have a good sleep also ，

some more having insomnia and sleepless night,

what the hell it going like this?

please, let me have a better life, I don't want to face the kinda exhausted life like now,

I just found a better place to let me have a calm and tranquil life,

I wishing that I have a chance to go there with the tomb that carved my name,

have a rest in peace at the cemetery...

独立=坚强？

2009-11-15T04:16:00.002+08:00

最近的生活越来越辛苦，压力越来越大，

我越是想起上个sem的成绩就越怕，

我不想真的再重复，

虽然我已打算读完这个课程就转校，

但还是要考好成绩才转得开心，

我很累，真的很累，我有时在鼓励我自己，

我是一个很独立和坚强的人，不会就这样放弃我的前途，

但我觉得我的坚强不是用在这方面，

难道人有时也要学会放弃？

我十八年来最坚强的地方，就是我一个人在KL工作的时候，

虽然KL是我常去的地方，但那次就只有我一个人，拿了SPM 成绩后的几天，

就到了那里去，到了车站还要自己一个人第一次搭车到亲戚家，

亲戚家就只是我睡觉的地方，

其他的时间都要在工作地方度过，

老板出了那笔蛮高的工钱，就是要我付出我所能的，

就因为我跟老板说我的英语蛮好，所以他才会请我，

我senior要我三天内弄熟我在那里和身为他们员工就要会的东西，

我没办法，我只好努力的去学，

因为我明白，钱就是一切，

我在那边没人依靠，有时有苦都没办法跟亲戚讲，

以前我也打过工，但是是跟朋友一起的，

有时也想，家里又不是有问题，为什么要在这挨，

就几天，我已经接手做很多东西了，

也慢慢跟那边的同事好谈了，我告诉他们我那时只有十七岁他们都很惊讶，

我就只是凭着一种态度，就是坚强，

Off day 的时候，我从不在家休息，

一早就走路出去坐公车到midvalley吃早餐，

过后就在那边逛街shopping，

megamall和garden走完就搭车去pasar seni，

然后就靠一双脚走去茨疮街走，不买那边的东也去看看，

过后再走路去timesquare...

在那边吃午餐后便继续逛街购物，

到五点多才走回pasar seni坐巴士回家，

吃完晚饭后，又跟了在sunway pyramid工作的表姐夫去他那边，

放了我后他就去继续他的工作了（他那天做晚班），

然后我也在pyramid逛到他放工才跟他回家，

每个休息天都少不了这些活动，

跟我阿姨讲我一个人在市区走了整天，

她都吓呆了，我知道她也很担心，

因为市区怎样讲治安都不会好，而且就只有我一个人，

我去尝试那些事情，就因为我认为我该独立了，

可能有些人的遭遇会比我恐怖十倍，

但是这些还是我学到的东西，

我也没在这里自夸的意思，

我只是想把我经历的坚强和独立放在我现在危在旦夕的学业，

不要一直要靠别人教，一直坚强的把这课程读完，

就在要写这篇BLOG的时候，

一群朋友们为了生命到底是否公平的话题争论了起来，

其实各有各的看法，

我是个垃圾桶，什么都听，什么都考虑，什么都思考，

但是有些人却要人家服从他的看法，

还批评人家的想法，那又何必呢？

这话题我只可以说一句，

我有健全的身体，有一班乐于助人的朋友，

但，我只有一段非常恶劣到透顶的家庭关系，

也是我坚持一个人到KL去工作的原因之一...

18th...

2009-11-08T01:15:00.009+08:00

等了又等，一转眼又过了一年，又是我大一岁的那天，也是我开始“老”一岁的第一天，很不特别的，一到十二点，手机信息铃声，面子书notification 纷纷都响了，弹起来了，连我意想不到的旧朋友竟然很准时的打了进来，祝贺我，也跟他聊了一阵子，很感谢他，他还记得我，聊完之后手机也有蛮多的祝贺信息进了来，也很感谢他们的祝福，MSN里也有一班大学的朋友在祝贺我，也非常感谢他们，至于一些忘了我生日的，想告诉他们没关系，因为我也忘记他们了，所以他们忘记我也是对的，黄金时候一过，一切变回正常，我继续上网，继续看戏，睡醒后，也很不特别的，我也照常的进行了平日所进行的活动，时间到，要去朋友家做assignment，突然发现天好黑，还刮大风，幸好我的一个50% house mate 回来了，刚好他要回他原本的宿舍拿东西，便载了我过去，然后也就酱咯，到了晚餐，与朋友们也随便吃了，过后就回家，最后这天就酱过了，有什么话想说？感谢我妈妈把我生下来咯，我终于十八岁了，因为很多十八岁成年才能做的事我都做过了，所以十八岁对我来讲还不是普通日酱过，生日歌？庆祝？蛋糕？一路来都没有，所以我不会在意有没有，礼物？朋友们平日在某些时候已经送了，不用再送了，而且我本身平时就很爱下“重本”在自己身上，还不算礼物？话说回来，十八咯，大个仔咯，要生性咯，唔好仲戆居居咯，哈哈，我的18生日愿望只有一个，就是要考到非常好的成绩，这对我来讲是个非常之大的挑战，但我还是会尽力的达成它，而且这愿望是根本没有人可以帮我实现的，就只有我自己，靠的是一个毅力，那是没人可以给到我的，我会为了它，付出我的全能，抛弃那些挡路的绊脚石，我真的能做到吗？我不敢肯定，但我深信有志者，事竟成，我在吹？我一点也不觉得我在向你们吹，以前的我做了什么错事，请原谅我，不值得原谅的就最好别原谅，让我内疚下去，成为我人生中的一个惭愧，成年了的我，一定要比以前更成熟，别再像以前的那么幼稚，凡事想好好再做，而且要记得，一定爬得更高，才能望得更远！！

Waited and waited, a blink of eyes already took me to another year and also till the day that I get one step further of my life. Without any special, my mobile phone ringtone, facebook page notification, msn were rang and popped up with all of the wishes from my friends, then a friend of mine that we lost contact so far called me for wishing me .It was unexpected .I feel grateful to him because of he still remember me. When completed conversation with him. It was a bit many of the birthday wish message from my friends .Felt much grateful for their blessings.There are a group of my campus friends congratulating me my birthday, thanks them a lot too.For those are forgotten my birthday, wanna tell them it doesn't matter for me. Cause of I already forgot their appearance in peacetime so that they have the rights to forget my birthday too. The peak moment were overred .Every thing changed back to usual.I continued my movie and online .In the next day, without any special also, I'm still the same and carried out the usual activities in weekdays .Reached the time to go for assignment discussion in classmates hostel . Once I unlock the main door,I just realize that the sky was quite dark and I guess there will be a cat and dog's rain.But fortunately my one 50% house mate came back at that time.And so he fetched me to my classmate hostel because he needs to get something in his actual hostel which just near by my classmates hostel.Then, I took a casually dine with friends and house mates, and after that returned my hostel finally passed my birthday, Anything to say?Yes, I would like to thank my mom that born me .Besides that , I am already 18 , which are able to do some things that only legal at 18th.But theres nothing to be pleased because of I already done somethings that only legal at 18th in ordinary times .How about birthday song, cake, celebrating? I won't care about it because they has never occur at my previous birthday. Gifts? In peacetimes my friends have already present to me at certain times.So that they not required to send me gift actually.Plus I like to spending something expensive for myself so it already considered birthday gift. In other hand, I already an adult, don't still be the blankly stupid boy around. It is naturally for me to have a better cogitation .My wish for my birthday? Theres only one for mine and it were I wish to score a flying colour results for my study,although it will be a large and hard challenge for me but I'll try my well best to achieve it.There is no one can help me just I relied my determination to do it.I cannot confirm that I will achieve my goal but I just believe in everything is possible with determined.I will pay as much as I can to abandon those stumbling blocks.Besides that ,hope you all forgive me if I offended or done somethings mistake to you. And better don't forgive me if somethings that cannot able be pardon.Let it become a guilt in my life.Final words, I must to be more mature than before and not going to be naive anymore.Make sure everything already think wisely before making decision to work on it.And always be remember the phrase," ONLY CAN CLIMB HIGHER IF WANT TO LOOK FURTHER !!!

In Struggling...

2009-11-05T01:43:00.000+08:00

I feel hard to breath properly in recent,
It was a burden crimping on me,
I don't know whether that I'm qualified to tell you all that I am having
a pressure in my study life now,
But I feel suffering and exhausting,
and plus I don't know how to describe how several major of my pressure,
Because that is invisible and cannot be touched,
I damn afraid that I cannot do well again in my study,
I have to grip tightly what lecturer was teach and instruct,
I cannot repeat all the fucking mistake that I've done last semester,
Merely,what I have to pay are only hardworking and much efforts,
I don't have the talent of study absolutely like my friends and housemate,
Only I can do are put more effort on it,
My friends and housemates can relax all the time but I cannot join them all along,
I have to care for my academic,
Some people will ask,
How come I don't go for my study and still blogging about the stupid things here,
The only answer that I can respond are me will going to mad if i still facing about
the calculating and theory,
I just throw anything and close the door strongly when I feel suffering with my study,
Some more I ignored my housemate all the time ,
I really not wanna to become like this,
But I have no choice to achieve my goal by other ways,
There are already third week for my semester,
I will take mid-term test on fifth week ,
I promised that i must do well in this test,
These tests are the proven that how much I gain for my effort,
So I must and required to do well in it,
hmm....
Besides that, I also got a number of ways to alleviate the suffering of mine,
listening to So Nyu Shi Dae,Girls Generation's song was ever my first choice,
As the reason of the sweet and cute voice by them,
Plus the music also very suited to thier voice,
If wanna know more about them, just Google it,
The only I can explain about them at here are there nine beautiful and young korean girls,
and some more they are domain in dance,
So thats why I was fascinated by them, XD

Girls Generation

But however,
I must make sure that I can achieve my goal in my academic,
Struggling??Just keep it on....

喝酒。瀑布？？？

2009-11-01T22:29:00.000+08:00

十月尾的周末，

housemate只有一个回家乡，
其他的都留在宿舍，
那晚十二点左右，就很突然的，
不知道是不是housemate的男朋友提出的，
然后我们全家就到了金宝新街场的21st（喝酒的地方),
去那边喝酒聊天，
我们有六个男一个女，其中一个男的不喝酒，
就叫了两bucket的tiger来，
一边聊天一边喝，
无话不谈，很开心下，
喝着喝着，两bucket就酱喝完了，
housemate的男友便去叫多了一bucket，
当中有人喝多有人喝少，
我就是喝了很多的那位，因为我很快就喝空杯，
然后又倒过，
最后我发现我连走路去厕所都感觉到整身很轻的，
不过我还没到酒后乱性的程度，
我还知道我在做什么，过后我们就回了家，
进了房间照下镜子，我简直就不信镜子里的就是我本人，
之后也顶不顺了，就跑到厕所去呕，
呕了后一进房间就躺在床上连门都没关，衣都没换，
就酱睡了，这还真是我第一次喝酒喝到酱blur，
以前跟同事去喝了很多也没事，可能是以前喝的时候有小食配酒，
这次只是光喝酒，不知道啦...
第二天醒来头还真痛，算啦，喝酒就是酱了的，
然后又跟housemate们去了金宝sungai salu瀑布玩，
被那很有力的水冲打了身体之后，
整个人都还变回精神了，
哈哈，这两天都还过得很充实一下，
过后又得开始新的礼拜了...

Don't Care About。IGNORED...

2009-10-25T02:39:00.000+08:00

It was a heavy rain in an afternoon,
I walk to the edge of the window and take a look,
The large drops of rain dropped on the road,
A bad feeling rise in my heart,
I don't know the reasons,
Does the rain always represent sadness?
When I trying to leave the window edge,
My mobile phone rang,
I pick up my mobile phone and look who is calling in,
I feel surprised ,
Because the person calling in was someone that avoid me always,
I accept the call and said "hello",
But nobody speaking so far,
Then she shut up the call,
So I feel strange and returned a call to her,
She answered the call,
I asked her what stuff that she calling me for,
She said she just want to have a chat with me,
My mind was blanked that time,
I don't know what to chat with her,
So I choose to tell her I will call her again later,
Then, I think you all should know what the ending of ,

With a word,
"Manipulation of Fate"

IGNORED IT

Who would sit down listen to me ??

2009-10-21T02:14:00.000+08:00

A very sudden,
I feel that the relationship for me with somebody
are slowly in alienating now,
It start from someday that we meet again,
I found that I cannot join in their topics,
I can only listen to their talk quietly ,
I cannot find more topic to chat with them,
If chat,
also cannot chat with them for more in-depth,
Sometimes, I feel boring, I feel down,
I'm looking for something to do to relax my mood,
Except for my computer,
Not other things that can let me relieve the boredom in my home,
So I can only hang out with my classmate,
But I live quite far away from them,
I have no better means of transportation to find them,
I only got a dilapidated bicycle,
There are no choices for me,
Sometimes is embarrassed to borrow bike from them
for hangout with my classmate,
They are not don't know what the trouble I faced recently,
But no one come to comfort, or enlighten me ,

Perhaps they think that is my retribution ,
Even my classmates have asked me about my situation now also ,
I know that they will feel uncomfortable with me
when they know that I criticizing them ,
So I would like to apologize to them first ,
After all, we are clansmen and they are still my friends ,
I very much hope a person can sit down and listen to my thoughts.

searchEven my classmates have asked me the situation

Enough...Time to begin a new journey....

2009-10-18T00:36:00.000+08:00

3 weeks....
for my semester break,
finally,
till the time to end it,
im having the reluctant feel,
i dont want back to campus there to settle all of the trouble,
but,
i have no choice for it,
i got to face it,
So how?? still in moody ??
Dont like this leh,
there are still a long way to go,
Have to pull ourselves,
dont become so down and down,
really,
but,
where?? where are my force ??
i need an energy to force me up,
im still waiting that,
is it come from friends??
or some things that unexpected??
whatever,
i have to live also,
Time will not halt for me,
The earth will not to stop rotate,
So，
just keep up the relaxed mind frame,
embarks on a new journey，
dont look back to the past,
just keep stepping in......

我的sembreak...

2009-10-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

唉~
人家有三个星期sembreak，
我只有一个，
因为第一个星期留在宿舍，
第三个星期要回去了，
为什么？？
因为我的狗屁大学,
唉，算了，这篇不是写关于我campus的，
一个星期，我已经玩得很累了，
很感谢那些肯陪我出去的朋友，
也谢谢你们在我没车用的时候载我出去，
中秋节那晚上，
我们还搞了个聚会，
在太平湖花园点蜡烛，
那晚虽然突然下雨，
不过我们仍然不放弃，
结果老天被我们的热情感动，
停起了雨，
过后就越来越多人到那里去点蜡烛，聚会，庆祝中秋，
很热闹，人山人海，
还有b-boy 在那边铺地毯跳街舞，
shuffle也有，
曾经对这些舞蹈有研究的我当然也上前去观看，
最后我与朋友们喝完茶才各自回家，
能过酱的中秋节真是不错，
接下来，
我突然心血来潮便载了我朋友去博物院，
因为正在维修的关系所以没什么东西看，

两三天后，
我妈妈突然要下我宿舍看看，
所以便打破了第一次驾车到那么远，
载了我妈妈去金宝，
然后还载她到怡保走走，
也是我第一次在怡保驾车，
因为之前都是朋友载的，
虽然认识路但是还是有点怕怕，
可能是第一次吧，
不过还是个很好的一个经验，
过了一天，
还跟朋友到我bukit merah家的游泳池去游泳，
说到来2009年起我就没去过了，
过后还到theme park去走下，

我家屋后

theme park
最后一个活动，
就是我参了我以前cadet的朋友到太平山去爬山，
刚好我中学的cadet也有举办爬山活动，
所以可以join买他们，
走了10km，
终于到达了山顶，
太平山风景依旧，
跟我以前带我们cadet上去一样，
看到我们cadet，
令我回忆起以前在cadet的日子，
虽然经常很累，但是永远累到值得，
哈哈，

在山顶可以看到整个太平城。。。

山顶的花园
半山的瀑布
起点。。。

那是我很满意的sembreak，虽然之前是去到闷，
但是让我觉得很充实，舒解了很多压力，
我的sembreak是时候结束了，
是时候，
回去“解决”我当前的麻烦事了。。。

失望。便宜没好东西??

2009-10-09T18:47:00.000+08:00

昨晚睡睡下，
突然醒起要上厕所，
上完后，
便开了电脑上下网，
已经知道考试成绩出炉的我，
不想那么早知道自己的成绩，
因为已经打算好了，
不过朋友们都看了，
所以就决定看看，
然后可以跟他们讨论，
按了密码按enter，
进入了我的学生户口，
一按进考试成绩，
我吓了一跳，
早已预算好会fail的那科就不用讲，
但，
竟然多了三个陪葬品，
不可能，
就连我寒窗苦读的PS也FAIL
更加不可能，
我assignment拿很高分，
考试除非交白卷，
不然不会fail的，
我非常清楚我考试时知道我在做什么，
每题我都会做，
考完还跟朋友对答案，讨论，
没问题啊？？
为什么成绩会是酱的，
根本就没可能，
还有，我account 和 economic也是，
不可能会fail的，
我读，读，读，
死命读死命背，
后来fail？？
那些批改老师，
你们是因为赶着出成绩而乱乱批改？？
还是你们不爽我？
我自问没得罪你们啊？
UTXR我对你们非常非常的失望，
如果你们要冤枉我，
要我重读那些我不该repeat的科目，
我就选择离开咯，
我没问题的，
Haiz，到底是不是便宜没好东西？？

几时才甘愿回家？？？

2009-09-28T16:15:00.000+08:00

经过两个星期，

我的trimester 1 final exam终于都结束了，

朋友们都纷纷回各自的家乡去过假期了，

反而我不想那么早回，也不想回去那么久，

有很多原因，

一，回太久反而会闷，

二，弟弟要考PMR了，而我回去玩，父母就会说我带坏他，

然后又吵架了（经常），

三，我家乡没有半夜的kaki，而且不能半夜爽爽就出去喝茶，

因为父母会不爽，

四，我知道我考试表现非常烂，没心情回去玩，

五，我在2009年起就非常少在家乡的家了，会不习惯，

六，我如果要出街的话会很难拿到交通工具，要看妈妈有没有用

车去shopping，另一辆就要看爸爸有没有用，他们经常用的，

而我摩多已经卖了很久，

七，我这次回去没带电脑一起回（因为坐巴士），到时爸爸要用

他的电脑，我就没娱乐了，

八，回去走走下，买买下，吃吃下，喝喝下，看看下，

玩玩下，又要花钱了（我很吝啬的），

九，因为我在家没娱乐，所以就会一直出去，朋友不能二十四小时奉陪，

十，就算回去陪家人也没必要陪那么久（因为我跟家人关系不好），

最后一个就是，我其实很喜欢宁静的生活，因为邻居都回完，

所以周围很静了，我就可以静静的一个人，

找一个舒服的位子坐下，慢慢的回想最近在我身边身上发生的事情，

然后对那事情慢慢的解剖，看看自己以后应该改变什么，

用什么方式去做人，是应该保持，还是改变，

因为很多事情不能一次过回忆完，

所以就慢慢的，利用时间，

去反思它们，

当我觉得那些事情都完全被解剖完，

就是我该balik kampung 的时候了......

Salvation failed...

2009-09-19T01:31:00.000+08:00

I 'm speechless now,
I want to give up,
My performance were disappointed me today,
I already tried my well best,
But,
It was the fate?? or I'm not enough hard work??
I 'm know that i cannot score well in the exam today,
I 'm sad, I'm upset,
That was the subject that I must score it well to salvage the others weak subject,
Today all already proven,
I cannot done it,
I 'm failed to salvage,
I 'm the loser , the noob , the suck ,the stupid loser,
The feel is just like the lovelorn,
Chinese called " heartbreak" or " heart pain"...
I am having that feel now,
feel suffering ....
haiz....

Hey!! What i've done ??!!

2009-09-17T06:20:00.000+08:00

At the moment that i flip the first page of principle of economics final examination paper,
And i read the question seriously,
suddenly i get shock with it,
oh my god man!!
i already forgot the definition of the question ,
shit,how to answer it ??
and then i quickly switch to answer the another question,
Bull shit,
i impress about it,
but....
forgotten also...
and question 3....question 4....
Oh no,
i cannot properly answer once question,
all the thing that i study before the day was forgot,
i feel scare,
then i answered the question with my own words (it needs keyword)...
finally,
2 hours already finished,
examination paper passed up,
i got no any feeling,
i paralyzed..
i regret,really regret,
I'm not put more effort on the economic study in peacetime...
i think economic ...it seems like the subject that not too hard to study,
but i already wrong, i already mistaken,
i cant blame tutor, lecturer, and any people,
if i wanna find a people to blame,
Elson Tan Hock San was the person,
Damn him,
what the fxck up he done??!!
he just kidding with his money and time?!?!
does he know that it needs to pay and taking the repeat class if he fail the subject??!!

I cannot do anything for the salvage...
I just wish that i can get a pass for the subject...
May God Bless Me~
I promise i will work harder for the other subject...
And wont repeat the mistaken...

OMG....i already become a "Nightstalker"

2009-09-14T04:46:00.000+08:00

As we all know ,
in DotA all star game has a hero named Balana a.k.a Nightstalker,
it will become very speedy and active at night,
and i ???
yes~i almost same with it~~
In recently ,
i will play computer games ,study, and talking with housemate
from night untill morning will only sleep,
i also cannot believe that i will did that frequently in recent,
is it just normal situation for a teenager that dont sleep for whole night??
or i already OVER the level ??
Additionally streamyx is now available in my hostel,
wow~~
the whole night i will become very active,
but i think that not just me,
some of my housemate also same,
haha,
sometimes about 4am in the midnight ,
my housemate will ask me to have a drink at the mamak stall
in the town there,
compare to the previous,(before the streamyx installed)
mostly i will sleep at that time,
but now all already changed,
my housemate and me already become the "Nightstalker"....

我宿舍有了streamyx，是好是坏？？

2009-09-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

在九月十一号下午六点多，
tm 的工作人员终于站在我们家门前，
呼喊着cheah weng ping的名字（我housemate的名字）...
永彬便上前开了门，
让他进来帮我们安装streamyx，
过了不久后，
我终于打破了在宿舍用电脑上网的记录，
哈哈～终于可以上到网了，
而且还是很顺畅那种，2mbps ...
我另一个同屋jonathan（鸟蛋）告诉我youtube可以即开即看的那种，
那天我们全屋的人都很开心，
唉，
但是，
有了streamyx，
我的娱乐圈子变大了很多，
那是个坏事啊，
因为之前我因为没事做而只是读书啊，
现在，
一直玩FACEBOOK 游戏罢了，
都懒得去看书了，
啊～～救命啊～～
而且我还在考试时期啊～～

到底我家有了streamyx是好？？还是坏叻？？@-@

得到了这些，也失去了那些....

2009-08-31T09:35:00.000+08:00

昨晚整晚睡不着，
找不出原因，
也不知道为什么，
于是便坐在一旁发呆，
这时，
看到了放在我书橱上的校刊，
因为睡不着的当儿就拿起了2008年的中学校刊翻阅，
突然的，真的很突然的，
我找到了失眠的原因，
就是历年的国庆日，
我与我的死党们起着摩多，
有车执照的就驾车，（那时我还不够岁考）
一起出街倒数，
那时的情景，
真的是很快乐，
倒数完后我们还一起去吃宵夜，
那时的我，就算父母打电话来催我回家也不理了，
与朋友们ENJOY完才打算，
直到凌晨才各自回家，
那时真的很开心，
如今的那天，
我只坐在电脑前，
听着歌，上着网，
就连叫他们出来喝茶也不想，
现在突然想与他们快乐的回忆，
我没东西好说了，
因为我之前都做好与他们分离的心里准备了，
舍不得当然有，不过没那么严重，
现在，
我上了大学，
我得到这些与我都可以说是志同道合的朋友，
他们都很FRIENDLY，
不过，
中学时代一起为CADET打拼，
一起快乐，无话不谈的那班朋友，
MSN ONLINE都不知要跟他们谈什么，（除了一个跟我大学住同屋的）
是我变了吗？
是我贪新忘久？
还是这些是人生注定要度过的阶段？
得到新的东西，就得失去旧的东西？

累，我在等你...

2009-08-30T01:41:00.000+08:00

到了现在，
我还不知道当初为什么它突然对我的冷漠，
我还不明白那时是发生了什么事，
是我们没缘份？？
还是你不给我机会？？
什么原因导致你认为我们没机会？？
到现在我真的还忘不了你，
每次电话信息铃声响起我都希望是你找我聊，
但是失望连篇，
就算我们聊也不能聊久，
说到来我还真可笑，
我不知从哪里建立起对你的好感，
我们见面的次数一个手掌都可以数完，
我想去找你，
你却说你没空，别担心，
我不是说你在骗我，
或许我们真的没缘分吧，
你的生日礼物，
我不是不要送，
也不是没诚意送，
而是根本找不到机会去亲手送给你，
我大学宿舍的同屋都可以见证我准备着送你的礼物，
有时不是我不想打去找你聊，
一直只在那信息你，
原因是我怕那时你真的很忙，
打给你只是在妨碍你做东西，
我朋友都对我说天涯何处无芳草，
他说的很对，
但现在都还没更好的取代你，
其实我也很明白，
我你分隔两地，
虽然不是说很远，
但我知道，
明年你会随着你的梦想而去得更远，
就像我现在酱离乡背井去大学读书，
之前我本来慢慢要放掉你的，
但几个月前在那个地方见到你后我就....
算了吧，现在我什么也不能做了，
我对你，也只可以变成暗恋，
只要可以跟你久久联络一次都已经够了，真的够了....
我随时都在欢迎你找我聊....
我也在等我这种种感觉累而放下的那一刻，
希望它快点到来。
把这一切画上一个句号........

欢迎我加入BLOGGER...

2009-08-30T01:30:00.000+08:00

我本来就是一个有写BLOG的人，

之前也懒惰CREATE BLOGGER ACCOUNT，

只是在FRIENDSTER写罢了，

到了大学才因为朋友影响才做这个户口，

但是开了之后却没有机会用，

因为我的宿舍没有STREAMYX，

要等到明年才有，

唉，

所以只可以在我HOMETOWN写了，

个位如果我以后写的blog有得罪你们的话，

我先在这里向你们道歉，

如果想与我聊天的话也欢迎加我的MSN哦～

ths_dota@hotmail.com

谢谢了～